Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (2149)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (65141)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (2377)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (2335)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (3074)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (3674)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (4585)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (2945)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: