Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

#5274091
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46390) - you deserved it (2165)

On 09/15/2009 at 3:24pm - money - by Lost (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (8614)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost 6 years has put me in debt over $33,000. FML

#5217229
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (15540)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:44pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

#5124276
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (11330)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:12am - money - by Dopeydancer (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I stepped on the MacBook Air I purchased 4 days ago. The screen snapped in two, and I didn't buy insurance because I promised myself I would be "extra careful." $3500 well spent. FML

#5121901
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (62989)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:31am - money - by AyDiosMio42 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents denied me saying that it would cost too much money. I come home today to see my parents had bought a huge plasma screen TV for $800. We already have 3 tv's. FML

#5106041
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (3805)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm - money - by AH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML

#5105234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14009) - you deserved it (51333)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

#4999366
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (13037)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52470) - you deserved it (3978)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

#4974639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

#4971137
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (40555)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I checked my bank balance, to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in, and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So, being honest, I told my boss about this. Turns out, I wasn't overpaid by £500, I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: