Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
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Top comments
Bzu123 8
you should have ran him over
bertyogurt 7
Yeah! Commit homicide! That'll show that rude ******!
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Comments (88)
DoctorRoche 11
On the bright side there's no streaks now!
mif_fml 27
Quite the strong stream to hit your windshield. He must've really had to go!
Lebeaugars95 20
quite the arch indeed
Bzu123 8
you should have ran him over
DoctorRoche 11
I beat you to #1 ;)
gracehi 31
Yeah! Then taken his wallet!
bertyogurt 7
Yeah! Commit homicide! That'll show that rude ******!
thomcmoore 23
There are two types of people...
FucYoCouch 13
... go on?
badluckalex 23
or honk your horn and scare the shit out of him! literally
Saraj07 18
I think you missed the 'waiting a a red light' part.
inner_peace 19
He was trying to wash your car.
Welshite 39
Free car wash!
inner_peace 19
My thoughts exactly!
strike2867 13
I'm sorry, do you always use urine to wash your car?
Welshite 39
#9: Yes.
inner_peace 19
#9: is there a problem with using more natural ingredients to wash one's car?
enddmd 27
#13 - Ammonia does a rather beautiful job, if I may say so myself.
olpally 32
Give him a little nudge with your bumper, he should stop pissing then :)
kaablam 17
Yes, because I'm sure OP is still sitting at the red light, his car getting pissed upon.
The_only_Eric 4
It's raining!!! The rain smells like asparagus...
infinitegrace 21
Should have pressed the gas. Just kidding that would be much worse. Then you'd have blood on your car along with piss...
Fuzy2K 7
You could just tell the police the car belongs to Andres Serrano.
holliepong 8
Forget it. He's drunk...
Nyarlothatep 12
So, by that logic, if he were to get in a car whilst drunk, and kill a few people, we should just "forget it," because he's drunk?
Danne696 14
I think a certain degree of how serious his actions were play into this. By your logic you would react similarily to a person running over people whilst drunk and a person making inappropriate jokes whilst drunk. Something small is pretty much forgivable in my book.
thatnucca 36
Should have pretended to be a mobile urinal and nudge him in the knees a little... Oops, was kinda thinking out loud for a sec...
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
Think quieter.
DonPandon 15
Now that's bad luck
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Not necessarily. What if he was cute and OP wanted to see him with his pants down?