Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped... - FML

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 371

You deserved it 3 613

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Same thing different taste

Angry much?

By NeedANewWindshield - 24/08/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 96

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 2 501

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 002

You deserved it 53 138

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 412

You deserved it 3 601

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 3 837

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 3 353

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 769

By WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 2 351

By Sean - 01/05/2013 04:44 - Canada - L'assomption

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 108

You deserved it 12 187

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 459

You deserved it 1 270

Next

Top comments

Bzu123 8

Saturday 8 March 2014 1:33

you should have ran him over

bertyogurt 7

Saturday 8 March 2014 1:48

Yeah! Commit homicide! That'll show that rude ******!

Comments

Turbo_Turtle 14

Saturday 8 March 2014 2:44

Get it washed fpr sure, op

gingerface81 16

Saturday 8 March 2014 2:49

Bet it gave your car a nice sparkely shine though

vikky538 28

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:03

that's a pissed off situation... I hope u punched him...

LegenHD 6

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:22

Homeless do this just so you pay them to stop

mata2 7

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:54

Wait people will pay me not to piss on the cars?

Rcmpbell 6

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:37

I would have driven in to him

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:42

Be glad your window wasn't rolled down. Could have gotten much worse very fast.

devildog3766 3

Saturday 8 March 2014 4:58

That new ammonia smell!!

engineerosaurus 26

Saturday 8 March 2014 5:11

Just blast the horn for a few seconds. If the guy is drunk enough to be peeing on a stranger's car, he wouldn't be standing after that shock.

Likian5 26

Saturday 8 March 2014 6:21

PLEASE tell me you stopped him mid-stream and didn't just sit there and watch him do it.

KimchiKim 9

Saturday 8 March 2014 6:40

Just casually turn on your windshield wipers and either run him over or take footage for a lawsuit... I would have just recorded it. Money and revenge.

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The Top

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 380

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 122

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 424

You deserved it 222

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 2 040

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 574

You deserved it 26 230

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 3 658

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 876

You deserved it 4 624