Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NYC_Yoshi 3
don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.
JacksonCampbell 9
I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
maddybopeep 2
lolol
NYC_Yoshi 3
don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.
sterlingarcher 1
agreed..
JacksonCampbell 9
I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.
imacreeper 3
well somebody didn't get a tip!
instnt1nfction 17
you can't handle the truth
Zdog101 0
u got that rit
DahkLohd 4
Exactly: if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. On second thought, get back in the kitchen, but take off your clothes. ;)
simply_improper 1
lmfao i love honesty
dolphincheddar 10
14. The waiter didn't get the tip. but niether did she ;)
Flutist 3
Dolphin Cheddar your name makes me think dirty thoughts.
juicedboi 7
Haha #8, u always get downvoted for agreeing with people. He was just telling you their policy. Maybe it had nothing to do with his answer. Except it did..
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
well number 100 u totally just contradicted urself :S
juicedboi 7
101- That was on purpose. Just trying to make OP feel a lil better before feeling worse :)
liv4444 0
dumb shit you should have looked in the bathroom first. and wtf? no ****. this is the best comment you guys will get so like it up! hahaah ^^that sounded gay. bye (:
liv4444 0
blahah it didn't show my comment u guys would have loved it (;
Suchagoonnn 4
isnt what he said considered mocking
GeraldisTheG 3
8 is a fail
ExtremeEncounter 32
Put $5 into a cup of water, flip it upside down onto a coaster, slide it off onto the table and he can watch his precious tip float as he tries to figure out how to get the cup off the table.
fast7fast 0
first to say ydi or fml!
livgasms 4
that's so mean haha.
whiteboy7thst 2
So was it a blind date, or was her date blind?
snickerz01 0
no tip fo him!
Zombieslayer1 0
First you say it's mean, and then you laugh over it. Clearly you have overactive mood swings.
tree07 1
OP deserves it for trying to hit on her waiter before her blind date arrived
Feklfekl2222 32
surely they would of been told to lie
anakaren_831 1
wow, I'm guessing you didn't look so good, now you know what he's gonna go do during his break.
mozeltov 7
**********?
yougotapes 7
after... not later
xoCOURTNIEox 0
what a douche !
missmaryb 0
Agreed, OP is a douche for searching for a compliment.
elmogoezRAWR 0
the originators of the contents of "the box" had to first think outside of said box to put in there.
gb_chrs 2
how is he a douche? she's ugly, she asked for opinion, you'd rather lie to her and give the common "you look great" answer?
Flutist 3
Actually, yea.
Olympus217 3
hey what's your name
kagera 0
take a joke. lol. it's a megamind quote.
theMelimda 3
Lol. I knew I heard that quote somewhere before!! Thank you!!
theMelimda 3
Thank you! I knew I heard this somewhere before...lol. Take a joke for sure, that's way funny!
txgirl2013 14
dine and dash...that'll teach him
Boomer21 0
Sure that's pretty ****** up BUT it's still a win on his part