Love, Awkward and First Dates: Cheeky

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 592

You deserved it 8 443

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Suave

By getmoneyab - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 922

You deserved it 68 469

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 147

Disbelief

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 718

You deserved it 3 172

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 243

You deserved it 6 076

What did you just say?

By keeks_25 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 222

You deserved it 26 114

Silly idea

By jameen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 47 233

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 034

You deserved it 3 520

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 499

You deserved it 4 083

How could you?

By Ashlee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 230

You deserved it 7 910

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 639

You deserved it 2 920

NYC_Yoshi 3

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:49

don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.

JacksonCampbell 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:54

I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.

Comments

YeloHaus 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:16

"To their face".

dudeitsdanny 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:19

This almost reminds me of "She Loves Me", when Dear Friend doesn't show up and the waiter tells Amelia she's "not model material", but not ugly enough to get stood up, haha. So, was he really late, OP, or did he stand you up?

mintcar 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:19

Your waiter is an idiot for telling the truth. Now he or she might not receive a large tip.

mycookiezz 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:23

Well it was a "blind" date so it would be acceptable for you to be ugly as sin, correct? lol, that's sarcasm

qwert1994 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:32

Burned By A Waiter.

malisa916 7

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:33

Maybe the waiter figured you looked like crap, would probably tip crappy, so he didn't bother to even try to lie to get a good tip from you. Try a little mascara next time.