Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
Shabba_13 13
They prob think your gay and weak..
SnowboarderFX 14
Or terrible, hit the gym OP
kak_999999999 12
Don't let your decisions be influenced by other people!
silvercamaro 22
Dudes gotta hit the gym
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Bro do you even lift?
James_is_Mexican 25
No, he gets lifted...
mikailanicole98 11
There are 4 guys on my cheer team and the first couple weeks two of the guys were too weak to catch some of the flyers because they just didn't know much about cheer. But the guys eventually built more muscle and now base and backspot us and can now do one man stunts. Don't worry! It'll work out!
bellebe1998 16
They just want to look up your skirt ;)
iammeorami 25
I guess he was the one being picked up
SonyIsGod 13
Joined a cheerleading squad to pick up girls? What is this, "Fired Up?" YDI hahaha
Ipatusaur 3
Lol, I'm a male cheerleader and I'm the strongest on my team xD
ohnowhyme123 15
Hopefully they like the feminine type
dingleberrysteve 6
thats a thing or...?
mintyowlgirl 20
In an attempt to flirt.... They're going to think you are gay
Welshite 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'll give you a "Y". I'll give you a "D". I'll give you an "I".
Melix 31
What does that spell? "YDI!"
masterof1 7
YAAAAAAAY
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
euphoricness 28
Y?
that_band_nerd 22
"I" need it!
Gingerette 8
This was a good collab effort, guys. Good game.
maty172 14
oh, you'll give him the D
from_srilanka 7
BEST. COMMENT. EVER.
REALAfroninga 11
Haha, yeah, cheering isn't a sport, but it is harder than it looks.
Shmizlish 9
Way to ruin everything
SobrietyKills 14
I love how #131 and #132 have the exact same pose in their pictures. Good show, boys.
Dusty_Busters 15
I would say this fits in my top 5 favorite comments on this site. Thank you...
REALAfroninga 11
Thanks 138
MyEpicFail 9
He gave him the D!!!
awilliams44 9
haha awwww on my cheer teams theres no guys :(
Helpfulman 17
It's probably because none of you are hot. (No offense.)
StompinOnCrayons 15
Or maybe it's because some guys are insecure or not into it ? Seems more likely.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm with crayons over here, they are most likely too insecure or not into it. I can see people giving guys a hard time for enjoying cheerleading
cesa12 10
i have one guy on my team, but it's only because his girlfriend is also on the team :o
_parth 20
Because baseball and soccer sounds much better then cheerleading.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well I'm glad you think playing with balls sounds like a more attractive sport ;)
arandomusernameaa 20
Yeh but Cheerleading is just playing with 2 hairy balls...
HKCgrimmjow 15
Touché... Well played. Well, you heard the man, choose what balls you want to play with because there is no way around it!
arandomusernameaa 20
Unless you play badminton... but then you are playing with cocks...
gumbler 5
Play hockey haha
arandomusernameaa 20
hockey... striking balls with hard wooden sticks...
truecommenter 7
hockey has pucks.. dumbass
GhostChickens 17
95 - You can play hockey with a ball. I've never seen anyone play field hockey with a puck. It depends on which type you're playing.
Axipiter 24
Psh. The only kind that matters is on the ice.
Calculate900 4
28 Dude, you can't say "No offense" after blatantly insulting someone.
arandomusernameaa 20
#95 I'm the dumbass? sorry but in Europe there is Hockey and ICE-hockey, when I hear hockey (minus the ice) I instantly think of normal hockey... That's how Europe works, have some understanding.
SillyGirl4602 23
28, that was extremely rude of you to say to 6. Just because you say no offense, it doesn't mean you can say whatever you want. Stop being an asshole. She didn't deserve that.
lameuser 23
Hmm, so at games people get to watch the male get thrown. Amusing.
C0M1C4L 9
damn sorry to hear that OP
arandomusernameaa 20
Inspiring! although this comment isn't much better :/
vicksblue 17
Why is that a problem? They work out a lot, of course they're stronger than you. Why is it so bad to be weaker than a group of girls? It would be worse if they were weaker than you, they've been training for some time and you're new. Don't worry, you'll build up that strength eventually. Instead of worrying, be glad that you can rely on them to catch you.
Madridsta1999 7
Because most men feel that it threatens their manhood, but you do have an excellent point. You will gain the strength you need eventually from cheerleading or exercising.
GhostChickens 17
I don't know why people are surprised that they're so strong. Cheerleaders THROW PEOPLE and they have to have some serious strength to hold some of their poses. Guys that don't work out aren't going to be stronger than people who do purely because they have balls.
PhotoSmith 25
I don't think I would mind being thrown by a bunch of girls. That would mean there or four hot cheerleaders with their hands all over me in front of big crowds. Yeah, that would be fun.
ChristopherM_fml 16
Very true. Better than failing to catch one after being thrown, because you don't have the strength.
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
tomwantssnow 14
Well, that and the fact that he probably expects to be stronger than a group of girls because of gender role stereotypes.
YourBatteryIsLow 8
Gender stereotypes are actually very true about muscle... It is harder for girls to build muscle then guys because of chemical differences in our bodies... This says that it is harder to be stronger as a girl though, not impossible.
harshallmeim69 9
why did you thumbs down that guy? What he said is true. Men do build muscle easier than women. It's a fact. Calm down and maybe try focusing your fake feminism more on actual equality and real gender role problems, and I know it's getting better, and im not some kind of male rights person, I just think that a lot actual facts are denied and frowned upon. I don't think that sharing of these facts are supposed somehow "prove" that one gender is better than the other, as that doesn't make any sense. When you try and make women more powerful than men, your not solving the problem, it's just reversed, and when you call that feminism, you make all the actual feminist groups that work so hard for great causes look bad. Sorry for the rant.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
A study was done, the only reason more men are stronger than women is because people assume men are stronger, and so many parents subconsciously make their male children do more sports and activities and their female children do less, so, even though eventually whether or not you do sports is up to you, boys usually get a head start.
harshallmeim69 9
"a study was done" wow 10/10 gr8 sourcing that's like a full bibliography
SpamPam 18
Yeah when girls are being told their entire lives that being smaller is beautiful while men are being told that being bigger is better then there is gonna be some huge differences between gender