Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
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Top comments
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
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Comments (102)
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
panicsdisaster 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
came here for this
Ruler3000 17
I know right #1? When I was a kid I hated being tickled because sometimes I'd laugh so hard I'd piss myself - then it's just embarrassing. However I never punched someone in the nuts over it. :/ So OP - if someone doesn't like something - don't do it anyway. Sets you up for punishment.
bellebe1998 16
NEVER tickle a little kid unprepared to be kicked in a soft spot.
buttcramp 21
agreed! how can you expect the little one to have respect for you if you show no respect? kids are still people and deserve respect and their feelings acknowledged. YDI, OP.
FangirlingAlways 14
Sounds like something my little cousin would do. He likes being tickled though.
VeganVampyre 26
Exactly! I have never forgotten the day that, knowing i absolutely hated being tickled, my cousin decided to torment me by tickling me until I was crying so hard I couldn't see or speak. It was awful. I hated him for years because of that.
KK3137 31
Similar thing happened to me. My "friends" cornered me in the hallway at school one day when I was about 10 or 11 and started tickling me because they knew I'm ticklish everywhere, and although I was screaming at them to stop I was also laughing because it tickled, so the teacher didn't do anything, even after I had started crying and couldn't even make a sound anymore. When they finally stopped (because class started) I couldn't move for 5 minutes because my stomach hurt so much and I was crying so hard. Then the teacher came out and screamed at me for not coming into the lesson on time.
shyeahh_fml 19
Shoot, tickling is just bad in every way. Not really sure what natural selection was thinking here... One time my cousin was tickling me because I'm also ticklish everywhere. I ended up kicking over a cup of water and destroying my relatively new MacBook. Apple fortunately has great customer service and somehow got it fixed for free, despite me not having a warranty or anything to cover it. But it still sucked.
harinakshi 4
Yup. As a kid I had a very large man and his two kids hold me down and tickle me. I screamed, cried, ffinally fought my way out and had to run out of my house and down the street to hide from them. I've HATED being tickled ever since then and if someone tries, they will be met with knees, elbows, and fists. YDI
FangirlingAlways 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why was I down voted? -.-
WellThatSucked89 13
Your name/thread jacking. That is why.
ChristianH39 30
Because replying with something unrelated to the first comment just to be seen is annoying.
whothewhat 4
14 sometimes that is a persons defense my dad still try's to hold me down and tickle me and I'm 24 but when his boys get a good hit he backs off so it's more of a defense as for the 6 year old he just knows that he ain't taking no crap so don't tickle him
TyT63 12
the tickle monster ain't hidin under his bed
MateRicks 18
Kids got balls.
JMichael 25
And OP don't anymore.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
This kid knows what the ****'s up
TopHatNinja68 6
I'm guessing the guy doesn't anymore
PenguinBitch 43
You were asking for it.
girlrome 19
Yeah. You're groin deserved it.
FracturedMinds 21
Your* sorry to be the grammar nazi, but this one bugs me.
cryssycakesx3 22
it's always "sorry! I'm not a grammar nazi, this one just bothers me!!! "
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
olpally 32
Knowing that he doesn't like to be tickled and you do it anyways? You totally deserve this you moron. Lol.
beaglegal 42
I think OP knew something would happen, but nothing like that.
Noelletakumi 36
I don't know why #32 got voted down. I'm sure he didn't expect to get hit in the nether regions by a young child, either.
j_cat187 19
And from that moment on, you are now that six year old's bitch.
karlcolt45 19
better hope he forgets about this when he gets bigger
mattrd_fml 31
most kids like being tickled. but the fact that he doesnt, and you know he doesn't but did it anyway, you totally deserved it.
cryssycakesx3 22
no. no one likes being tickled.
Narttu 20
I do not know a single person who enjoyed being tickled as a child. I also don't know what sick joke evolution had in mind when it decided our reaction to tickling would be uncontrollable laughter, because it sure as hell is not joyful.
booboohoney 12
His age shouldn't matter. No means no.