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Man or woman?

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13385) - you deserved it (1668)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML

#21450786
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (1591)

On 08/02/2015 at 7:39am - kids - by Wlanla (man) - Romania (Bacau)

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (1491)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

#21449647
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22898) - you deserved it (1653)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm - kids - by Lonely School Kid - Canada

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (1954)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (4681)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

#21445328
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14110) - you deserved it (23875)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:32am - kids - by thebiteof87 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

#21445292
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (1949)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:58am - kids - by okay - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

#21443580
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm - kids - by ddhaley1 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (4201)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

#21441553
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (2266)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)



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