Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (1986)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you deserved it (5200)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (5286)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (6566)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (2313)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32598) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (2798)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (12788)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42192) - you deserved it (5902)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (7660)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: