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Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13978) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16337) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18718) - you deserved it (2079)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29532) - you deserved it (3520)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (2188)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (3187)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (3261)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (3437)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (5360)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)



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