Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8009) - you totally deserved it (2478)
On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States
Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML
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On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
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On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML
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On 11/18/2009 at 3:43am - kids - by Widespread (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he proceeded to cry and piss his pants. Again. FML
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On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 9:50am - kids - by NewlyChildaphobic (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you totally deserved it (1295)
On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
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On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
