Today, since we hadn't be romantic for a while, I shaved, bathed, cut my hair and snuggled naked up to my husband in bed. He got up went to the computer, masterbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (777) - you totally deserved it (153)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (335) - you totally deserved it (680)
On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (2508) - you totally deserved it (429)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2476) - you totally deserved it (206)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2413) - you totally deserved it (1163)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (989) - you totally deserved it (3656)
On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
I agree, your life sucks (1968) - you totally deserved it (3625)
On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3371) - you totally deserved it (499)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4553) - you totally deserved it (1220)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3836) - you totally deserved it (279)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4319) - you totally deserved it (778)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4715) - you totally deserved it (2284)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1166) - you totally deserved it (10600)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)
