Today, I saw my roommate masturbating into a grapefruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (289) - you totally deserved it (36)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by fruity - United States
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (396) - you totally deserved it (130)
On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I lost my virginity to a guy who believes he is a Sith. FML
I agree, your life sucks (509) - you totally deserved it (1454)
On 02/08/2010 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I lost my virginity. I blew out my knee while in the act. FML
I agree, your life sucks (995) - you totally deserved it (316)
On 02/07/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Dylan (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1193) - you totally deserved it (557)
On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1646) - you totally deserved it (325)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (689) - you totally deserved it (1355)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1526) - you totally deserved it (605)
On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my soon-to-be mother in law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1613) - you totally deserved it (642)
On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia
Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9879) - you totally deserved it (649)
On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2548) - you totally deserved it (263)
On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "Your too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (697) - you totally deserved it (2334)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1806) - you totally deserved it (1359)
On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)
