Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Weird flex, but OK - FML

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Spicy

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 4 896

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Same thing different taste

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 913

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 558

You deserved it 5 599

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 11 066

Side dick

By Joanna - 27/12/2018 18:00

Spicy

Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 12 859

By syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 5 219

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 143

You deserved it 8 781

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 099

You deserved it 10 949

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 998

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 432

You deserved it 7 328

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 776

You deserved it 6 059

Next

Top comments

Exodiafinder687 58

Friday 2 January 2015 11:59

Just make sure you have some lube in case Willy wants to visit his chocolate factory.

challan 19

Friday 2 January 2015 12:43

Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do... He has the perfect penis for you. Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee... If you are wise, you'll listen to me. What do you get when you guzzle down cum? Eating and getting it in the bum. Why are you at getting terribly sore? Because he thinks your his personal *****.

Comments

FroggerForReal 11

Friday 2 January 2015 15:11

is that not seductive?... O.o

Tannasgh 22

Friday 2 January 2015 16:05

Lame...I would think that "Russell the Love Muscle" is much more manly...

olruthless 10

Friday 2 January 2015 16:11

And the problem is?

Axel5238 29

Friday 2 January 2015 16:13

Depends how long you've been together this shouldn't be a surprise. Though I'm guessing you never thought his dumb stuff you laughed at would wind up in the bed room as well. Get out while you can he's not gonna get why it's bad timing.

MRSwick2525 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 20:50

Little extreme to tell her to get out while she can just because he calls his junk "Mr Willy". Chill Dude

JustTheFacts 5

Friday 2 January 2015 16:38

This just gives me the willies.

kalbrek009 20

Friday 2 January 2015 17:23

What a dick move. JK. Sounds like he's not quite mature enough for sex, much less a relationship.

Silk_Routes 14

Friday 2 January 2015 17:43

get impressed by Mr. Willy ;)

erichanoki 13

Friday 2 January 2015 18:54

Just...no. Dx ∑(ノД

jubinsn5 1

Friday 2 January 2015 19:42

I think he is a gay...

jdykid 13

Friday 2 January 2015 19:52

I call mine Brock the ****

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The Top

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

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You deserved it 59

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 56 187

You deserved it 9 038

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 908

You deserved it 3 579

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 459

You deserved it 4 063

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 100

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 063

You deserved it 4 105

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 578

You deserved it 10 477