Miscellaneous: Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband...

By grossedout - 06/09/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 118

You deserved it 2 532

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 596

You deserved it 5 192

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 3 224

By rozziepop - 30/03/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 456

You deserved it 3 524

By kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 708

You deserved it 5 589

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 850

You deserved it 460

Digging it

By blech - 08/12/2014 23:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 2 559

By Emily - 01/08/2012 05:44 - Canada - Baden

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 830

You deserved it 3 289

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 10:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 546

You deserved it 762

By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 114

You deserved it 3 059

kyliebear 15

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:56

i could never see myself staying with someone like him..

almariee 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:58

that is so disgusting.... eww I would've made him clean the shit up

Comments

Mirjam_fml 11

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:24

Wow. Aren't you glad you married the guy........

juturnaamo 29

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:30

OP, he's not making a mountain, he's making a stalactite. Not nearly as bad...

k1ngd1ck 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:43

Mix it with his dinner tonight!!

birds_fml 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:45

OP: my husband used to smear his boogers on whatever the hell happened to be nearby. The mattress, the underside of the desk... everywhere. USED TO. Know how I fixed that problem? I told him that if I ever found one of his boogers ANYWHERE that wasn't a tissue again, I would tell his parents, my parents, his friends, and everyone else he knows that he wipes his boogers all over the house. He hasn't done it once since.

lmaoatall 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:55

That you know of!

loserman67 35

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:06

So you found his booger pile. I'd stop looking or you might find the pile of crust he picks from his ass crack. You got a real winner there!

mrlopez 13

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:20

Damn that little booger...

noahtruesdale 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:20

Wouldn't that be like more of a stalagmite of crap?

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:30

I think I just threw up a little.....

GEFStryker 29

Tuesday 6 September 2011 17:22

Q. Why did the booger cross the road? A. Because he was being picked on! Sorry, couldn't resist. But seriously, tell him if wants to do the horizontal mamba with you anymore he'd better make the tissues dance by putting a little boogie in them.