Intimacy: Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork"....

By burgeee - 18/03/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 4 275

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Same thing different taste

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 248

You deserved it 5 686

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 532

You deserved it 24 102

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 7 724

By screwed.over - 10/10/2009 23:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 213

You deserved it 2 794

By anonymous - 01/10/2013 05:36 - United States - Huntington

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 903

You deserved it 7 050

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 851

You deserved it 6 760

By rick - 13/08/2009 21:49 - Sweden

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 6 048

By Anonymous - 16/04/2018 19:00

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 417

You deserved it 54 826

By awkwardpaul - 22/11/2013 10:18 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 829

You deserved it 8 191

vacantdreamer 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:05

Congrats. Your man admits to being a pig.

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:09

OK , so to test that out I just sent the same text to my wife. Her reply; WTF?

Comments

jt525 1

Friday 19 March 2010 12:53

fail

remygale 0

Friday 19 March 2010 19:13

Not so much with the sense of humor, are you, op?

ferrarimach1 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 6:46

lady gaga wants you to touch her pork would you do it

ferrarimach1 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 6:48

could of been worse he could of siad "suck my hotdog"

Doomshadow24 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:03

Tell him to swallow his steak.

LinsKitty 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 8:31

lmao win

twilight_0118 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 23:29

greendaygirl wins hahaha

mmtkshaw 0

Monday 12 April 2010 1:27

touch my pork

KLern 0

Friday 17 June 2011 0:45

you should probably do it if he's "the love of your life". any considerate person would do that for their lover.

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Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

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