Love: Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 2 776

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 180

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 5 246

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 90

By brother love - 13/08/2010 05:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 753

You deserved it 3 926

By AdriBAMF - 17/10/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 7 764

By anonymouss - 21/09/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 45 323

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 12 127

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 042

You deserved it 20 405

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 644

You deserved it 7 227

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Run Forrest! Run!

unicornunit 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:04

sounds like ur uncle used to be in a lynch mob

Comments

Lily_lops95 0

Friday 30 September 2011 5:59

Bummer...I have 4 older brothers I know what it's like when family embarrasses the hell out of you...

SorrowFull 8

Friday 30 September 2011 6:10

Tell uncle Jed to simmer down, and that granny needs him to skin the possum for the stew.

worldsaint 1

Friday 30 September 2011 6:14

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS SEEM EXTREMELY FAKE? COME ON PEOPLE, A PITCH FORK?

grahambertus 11

Friday 30 September 2011 7:40

Bad experiences make good stories.

acb0413 0

Friday 30 September 2011 8:31

Roll tide y'all.

ohmandapants 16

Friday 30 September 2011 15:49

How white trash are you people?

loudandproud 0

Friday 30 September 2011 16:30

Can someone tell me how to get a guy I like even thou he has a gf

LittleMagicWolf 7

Friday 30 September 2011 16:39

You must live in the central or west side of the state in open farmlike spaces. Cuz who has a pitchfork anymore??? *lives on the east side* Did you chase your uncle down? A boy brings me flowers nowadays, I'll fight for that boy lol

juicifer 0

Friday 30 September 2011 22:27

Was dueling banjos playing in the background?..

jay1010 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 0:37

holy crap

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The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 2 049

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 291

You deserved it 2 482

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 8 831

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 167

You deserved it 772

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 426

You deserved it 4 158

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 3 461

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 024

You deserved it 3 492