Love: Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 2 776

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Same thing different taste

Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 180

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 5 246

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 90

By brother love - 13/08/2010 05:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 753

You deserved it 3 926

By AdriBAMF - 17/10/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 7 764

By anonymouss - 21/09/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 45 323

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 12 127

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 042

You deserved it 20 405

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 644

You deserved it 7 227

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Run Forrest! Run!

unicornunit 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:04

sounds like ur uncle used to be in a lynch mob

Comments

Jukaaay 3

Saturday 1 October 2011 2:03

this is something that would happen to me -____-

gunner2590 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 2:12

West Virginia? Maybe your uncle is jealous XD

itswhateveridk 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 2:21

Uncles aren't typically so defensive, it's more of a dad thing, so that's weird you could legite sue for that

CrimsonViolets 11

Saturday 1 October 2011 6:06

Uncle Betsy win

jennifer6848 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 6:57

Hahaha, my uncle found out and told the guy that if be ever laid a hand on me he would make it look like a hunting accident

SovietRei 5

Saturday 1 October 2011 8:20

Your uncle is a straight-up badass.

Hunts160 5

Saturday 1 October 2011 8:53

WHEATRIDGE FARMERS!

yazzy101 11

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:54

As if!!! Lol why did he have a pitchfork??

okieraider71 4

Saturday 1 October 2011 22:32

Anyone with a horse has a pitchfork.

bethany_camille 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:24

Hahahahahahah! That made me literally laugh out loud!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 5 177

The Top

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 839

You deserved it 35 704

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 957

You deserved it 13 034

Today, someone said that women shouldn’t hate their menstrual cycles, because the hormonal changes were so "interesting". Sure, that’s the word I’d use for alternating between cramps and zits, being an insatiable nymphomaniac, and being so depressed I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 152

Today, my college dormitory accused me of something I didn't do, breaking a law that I never heard of, charged me $200 to fix "what I did wrong", and is forcing me to go to counciling at the school. Not only was I not on campus when it happened, but I was the one who reported the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 975

You deserved it 777

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 2 729

Same thing different taste

Lost again

Mixed signals

Noped outta there

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