Love: Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 2 776

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Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 180

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 5 246

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 90

By brother love - 13/08/2010 05:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 753

You deserved it 3 926

By AdriBAMF - 17/10/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 7 764

By anonymouss - 21/09/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 45 323

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 12 127

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 042

You deserved it 20 405

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 644

You deserved it 7 227

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Run Forrest! Run!

unicornunit 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:04

sounds like ur uncle used to be in a lynch mob

Comments

malzi21 8

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:48

You know you're a redneck when...

WHOWASTHEPHONE 10

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:49

He waited three days before homecoming to ask?

BlahBlahBlah_99 6

Friday 30 September 2011 0:14

homecoming isn't the same day for everyone worldwide...it's not a holiday.

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:53

Her uncle has first dibs.

IPoopedOnU 12

Friday 30 September 2011 0:17

Awwww that sucks. Did he still want to go to homecoming with you? :(

WolfAttac 0

Friday 30 September 2011 0:45

Epic uncle

SpeechQween94 14

Friday 30 September 2011 2:39

I would kill to see that! But I am sorry that that happened.

BeibertSmitor 10

Friday 30 September 2011 4:43

yeah ... I asked my girlfriend out over Skype so that I wouldn't have to do it at school in front of people or in front of her dad. I was warned before she knew I was gonna ask her out that "If you gave me a hug in front of my dad, he will probably stab you in the back with a rusty knife."

jamm8806 4

Friday 30 September 2011 5:15

It definetely desi

rudysayshi 4

Friday 30 September 2011 5:43

he's doing it old school that is legit

dgenerationx 0

Friday 30 September 2011 5:46

I was like awwww and them read the uncle part lol srry

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The Top

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 052

You deserved it 3 116

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 917

You deserved it 6 755

Today, I painted the guest bathroom. Once finished, I noticed the paint splatters on my arms matched my lily white chalky skin. Paint matches me better than my makeup. Guess I need a different paint, and new make up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 921

You deserved it 439

Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 167

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 170

You deserved it 8 538

Today, it's been a year since the man I loved for more than a decade moved in with me. I felt so lucky at the time, only to suddenly notice more and more that he's a huge racist. Against MY race. Bye bye decades of my wasted time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 224

Today, I finally built up the courage to seek professional help for my eating disorder. Apparently I don't meet the criteria, so I was denied help and got sent away. So basically, I'll have to get even sicker for them to take me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 87