Work: Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got... - FML

By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 280

You deserved it 3 331

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 464

You deserved it 1 643

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 15:47 - United States - Cabot

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 251

You deserved it 2 884

By scarred for life - 21/09/2012 10:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 3 706

Gottem

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 21:07 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 759

You deserved it 6 716

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 2 643

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 609

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 633

You deserved it 4 802

By are these people even HUMAN? - 01/08/2013 15:18 - United States - Bristol

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 057

You deserved it 3 786

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 532

You deserved it 7 391

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 4 347

Next

Top comments

theaaxis 27

Friday 28 June 2013 8:50

That really 'sucks'!

mintymandy 11

Friday 28 June 2013 8:53

Bite the little ****** back...

Comments

wonders8 3

Saturday 29 June 2013 0:27

Who knows, maybe it was a real one!

pinguino3669_fml 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 2:35

You never know what to expect from people these days...

nelyannette 4

Saturday 29 June 2013 3:40

That's funny

VeganVampyre 26

Saturday 29 June 2013 4:13

But... How do you know he wasn't /actually/ Dracula? Maybe he's returned and you were his first attempt to turn someone. If you start getting cravings for blue steak... That's your first sign.

dravvy 7

Saturday 29 June 2013 7:59

Until he starts calling you Renfield, take it as a compliment you were attractive enough to bite.

amifaiyaz 12

Monday 1 July 2013 7:02

Well... it's not a hot naked girl, but it's something.

hsRoseTyler5 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:40

Well that guy watches too much Supernatural.. Are you sure he was a human and not a shapeshifter dressed as Dracula?

xxEternalRain 13

Tuesday 2 July 2013 4:40

My boyfriend delivers too and on his 2nd week he delivered to a guy dressed like santa

xsilentxninjax 10

Friday 12 July 2013 4:40

Can you report him for harassment?

justindrew14 29

Friday 19 July 2013 5:16

did he sparkel? if not hes not real

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 131

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, my boyfriend helped me move some things into storage, all while complaining about the amount of stuff I own. He's the one who keeps buying me things I don't need or want, even though I tell him every year I wouldn’t mind getting no gifts at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 168

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 318

You deserved it 3 925

Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 136

You deserved it 430

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 136

Today, I booked a long distance flight across two continents, costing me over 600 bucks. I then got a confirmation email. For a different flight. I wrote to their customer service address, saying there has been an error, and to please either change or cancel the booking. I never got any reply. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 182

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 337

You deserved it 4 587