Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had...

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 49 683

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Same thing different taste

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 230

You deserved it 8 403

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 6 443

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 530

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 115

Wait

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 1 067

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 151

Romantic mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuck buddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 200

By LOLCATS - 13/10/2009 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 2 484

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 129

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 357

snakeonthesun 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:11

that's why she said she was horny! To get you in the mood. was that not enough?

goonie85 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:43

"Um, you need to get me in the mood." Isn't that something a woman says? Pull out your tampon and **** that woman stupid.

Comments

drumhellermd 0

Friday 19 March 2010 5:32

I thought guys were ALWAYS in the mood!!

roxymaniac 4

Friday 19 March 2010 6:15

When a girl says that, we want YOU to make the first move! duh.

AquaSky 1

Friday 19 March 2010 7:56

YDI for being a lousy lover. If your wife propositions you, get your act together and take her in a manly fashion.

lakornla 0

Friday 19 March 2010 7:57

If she had to work, chances are she was just going for a quicky, not foreplay.

FockinA 0

Friday 19 March 2010 8:41

not had sex in 2 weeks and she's this prissy about it? well sounds to me like you're very well married. congrats.

yoodawwwg 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 6:32

ydi

lalasha 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 7:46

really? you weren't in the mood? maybe you should have your hormon levels checked just saying. could be her but it could be you too.

mrzero 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 9:13

you are an asshole. give her my phone#

bettysue69 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 21:58

YDI. after 2 weeks you should have been ready as soon as she told you she was horny. if not, then I would assume you are getting it somewhere else or have erectile problems (if it's this then I feel for you). Either way you basically told her she doesn't do it for you, and who would want that! if you get another chance like that, and you're not ready to go, don't let on and just go for it. she'll probably do what you need without you telling her she has to. It doesn't matter if your male or female, being told you have to work for it is a big turn off.