Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had...

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 49 683

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Same thing different taste

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 230

You deserved it 8 403

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 6 443

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 530

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 115

Wait

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 1 067

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 151

Romantic mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuck buddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 200

By LOLCATS - 13/10/2009 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 2 484

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 129

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 357

snakeonthesun 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:11

that's why she said she was horny! To get you in the mood. was that not enough?

goonie85 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:43

"Um, you need to get me in the mood." Isn't that something a woman says? Pull out your tampon and **** that woman stupid.

Comments

LynzCatastrophe 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 9:28

I hope you enjoy your life of being replaced by a vibrator. She has to try to get you in the mood now? Your lovely wife just admitted to you that she was horny, you should have been behaving like a caveman and dragging her off to bed! honestly, i tell my fiance that i'm horny we dont even make it to the bed, just wherever i happen to be saying that! Unless of course in a car, then he drives so fast i'm amazed he doesn't get a speeding ticket or an accident.

nobody81 4

Monday 10 May 2010 23:27

**** the double standard. I hate women who think all they have to do is show up for sex. They complain about lack of foreplay but all they do is lay there like a dead fish. Replaced by a vibrator? Not before I replace her with a new woman who isn't as lazy.

Cinn_fml 22

Monday 10 May 2010 23:56

Bitter about something? Yes, there will be girls who do nothing, but there will also be guys who are equally crap in bed. You can't just say every girl who complains her guy does nothing is lying because she must be the one doing nothing, because that won't always be true.

nobody81 4

Tuesday 11 May 2010 0:09

Did I say that at all? Lemme check... no. No I didn't.

nobody81 4

Tuesday 11 May 2010 5:01

Oh I think I see your misunderstanding. You took "they" out of context to mean all women. I was referring specifically to the women mentioned in the previous sentence, who think all they have to do is show up for sex.

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 11 May 2010 10:42

Fair enough, I suppose. Sorry for the misunderstanding. (and yes, you're right, that was how I read it)

happyvampire16 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 4:29

#158 wins it. im a woman and i completely agree with that lmao. i admit i can be lazy but i mean when it starts going im the tiger and he's the bunny :p

BettyBoom_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 23:42

they have pills for that buddy......

seroquels 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 22:37

ydi for not going after her. and to all the knobs calling her lazy, stfu...I would bet that she left for work because of how unsexy his delivery was. OP next time dont demand she get on her knees and serve. How about being sexy...take her in your arms, kiss her, pull her hair a lil AND THEN ask her to pleasure you (dont say "do somethin ta turn meh on woman!") or guide her hands and head where you want them. you'll get a better response i bet.

thwei 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 11:22

not really double standards tbh. men and women have different emotional and physical reactions to sex and the topic in general. these generalizations are made because thats usually how people operate, except for the special few. women who are horny wanna be wanted/taken but op wanted to help himself before helping her, instead of helping her and in the process helping himself. huge turnoff. her sighing was basically "really? I tell you I want sex and you sit there and tell me to please you.. and I have to go to work. the hell?" idsigh too. she started the whole topic. a women telling you she wants your **** is hot isn't it? guess not.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Monday 30 August 2010 13:53

she wants something, she can work for it, just like it is for guys. **** you and your double standards (and yeah, they are double standards, it's just funny that you spewed them around while saying that they weren't there)