Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 268

You deserved it 7 883

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Same thing different taste

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 185

You deserved it 7 311

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 138

You deserved it 14 881

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 268

You deserved it 29 219

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 18 554

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 133

You deserved it 8 227

By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 928

You deserved it 8 122

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 953

You deserved it 19 160

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 5 532

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 550

You deserved it 4 583

naddification 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:28

You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.

JohnnyPhoenix31 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:30

Did she use her tears as lube?

Comments

NullPointer 20

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:37

lol, so freakin weird. please figure out why she was crying and why she refused to stop and reply to this comment letting us know.

suguru 4

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:40

Teargasm

iamabamf 17

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:49

He tried.

tweiler 15

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:51

You pleaded for her to stop and she continued? Your girlfriend is a rapist.

silentbutfunny 0

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:01

And she kept on insisting but he said stop..

Soloman212 28

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:03

Double standards right there.

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 3 January 2012 6:51

In a digital world, she has exactly 10 seconds to finish, and then it's game over. |the kid|

bethal 8

Friday 6 January 2012 9:51

I just wanna say i was the 69th thumbs up!!!

Jibblets2367 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:54

How do you not go limp at the sight of your crying girlfriend??

mama2b3 20

Tuesday 3 January 2012 6:03

my boyfriend wouldn't...

tjnaprincess 8

Tuesday 3 January 2012 7:09

Mine would

pabst4america 1

Tuesday 25 September 2012 7:32

Cuz she's fondling his D

Lulamjollnir 3

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:02

O.o she sounds like a head case.

turtleomnom 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 1:31

not head, hand, lol.

metallicshadow 16

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:04

doesnt matter had sex (in a way...)

tennisrapper1 14

Tuesday 3 January 2012 5:40

I think she mighta been a racist! :O

coyfish 0

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:05

Can you only hold an erection if she crys?

CoachBangWhore 5

Thursday 5 January 2012 6:16

Most likely

faysophie 2

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:06

It reminded her of her dead snake poor girl

colabobo 5

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:06

At least she made the choice to make sure you don't get blue balls

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