Intimacy: Pleased to see me?

Pleased to see me?

By kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 200

You deserved it 6 687

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 948

You deserved it 21 601

By Tinker-Bell - 21/11/2008 03:41 - France

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your cock back in here right now!" A voice then replied : "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 212

You deserved it 18 005

About last night…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 20:08

Today, I woke up on the couch in front of the television covered with a blanket. Last night, I'd come home pissed from the pub, fired up porn, got my pants off and settled down for a wank. However, this morning the telly was off, my trousers were on, and I don't remember a blanket. I live with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 979

By Sicko - 28/08/2010 23:52 - France

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 950

You deserved it 26 067

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 165

You deserved it 37 092

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 967

You deserved it 33 399

Tell, don't show

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 10:07

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 2 562

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 357

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 577

You deserved it 8 108

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 754

yakturk43 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:19

win for saying wankerstick lol

bhangu023 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:26

ahaha u shud of been like i'm givin it som morning fresh air

Comments

yakturk43 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:19

win for saying wankerstick lol

blah109 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 10:47

lol that'd be embarassing

Bertha5 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 2:19

ahha didn't u feel a breezzee? lol

hackymeal 0

Friday 18 June 2010 13:16

did u have a morning wood?

BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Monday 23 July 2012 8:12

This sounds like the beginning of a porno.

Newbie21 1

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:20

hehe how embarrassing FYL

george456 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:24

LOL

makii_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:24

hahaha di she say she wanted some

bhangu023 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:26

ahaha u shud of been like i'm givin it som morning fresh air

WreckerGirl 4

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:27

AWKWARD! How will you ever look her in the eye again?

hahayousucks 3

Saturday 19 March 2011 6:14

like a boss

Nic_hole 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:28

hahaha ahh that's great lolz

Laurendorcus 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:28

Im suprised you didnt notice something was wrong when first you walked into the room and she yelled out "oh baby baby!" as her eyes popped out of her head. Oh, you sexy beast. :-)