Miscellaneous: Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the...

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 151

You deserved it 7 416

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Same thing different taste

By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 10 464

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 3 113

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 679

You deserved it 5 727

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 560

By warp_routine - 31/03/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 906

You deserved it 13 906

By hakuna matata - 31/10/2012 10:06 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 010

You deserved it 3 618

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 034

You deserved it 6 789

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 219

You deserved it 2 174

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 363

You deserved it 3 725

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 468

MarkerofMagic 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 2:12

haha mean sister but good movie.

FailVader 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 2:13

you shoulda said, " if you talked less, maybe YOU would get a date."

Comments

hotstuff569 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:34

Fine. I'm sorry. Are you happy now?

foxy1222 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:36

kids say the darndest things if darndest is a word.

RadAtThis01 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:39

Sean Frederick looks like a pedophile

SeanFredrick 3

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:42

I was like 13 in that picture.

shadowrobot 2

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:42

sucks for u

birdmansangel 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:47

you people will argue over any damn thing

ohthebloodygore 16

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:10

'U' people can't spell simple words.

Bubbelz 25

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:25

No we won't.

TheLastSurvivor 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:56

lol at 11

H0LLiiW0OD 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:58

Ida beat my sisters ass! =]

randomlettrrs 8

Wednesday 4 August 2010 3:58

never mind :( call me when you need company Ignorance

tchaikovsky93 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:01

LMFAO

Geiko_fml 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:08

Shouldn't have Too much of a problem getting a date.

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I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 399

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You deserved it 75

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 33 115

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I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 349

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I agree, your life sucks 6 757

You deserved it 49 072

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I agree, your life sucks 55 667

You deserved it 4 144

Today, I ran into my former therapist. Still confused by her last email, I asked what she needed to "protect herself" from. She said she needed to protect herself from feeling sad and worrying that I'd get beaten up. I'm afraid I now understand why this country is so messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 118

Same thing different taste

Animated movies

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