Love: Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period.... - FML

By cek4uytp - 25/06/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 757

You deserved it 18 594

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By worried - 01/04/2010 08:28 - Ireland

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 425

You deserved it 8 474

Thanks, babe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 116

There's an app for everything

By Anonymous - 09/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 684

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogota

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 1 851

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 078

You deserved it 3 358

By Ignored - 13/07/2011 06:47 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 331

You deserved it 9 365

By Forgotten - 09/08/2010 14:38 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 243

You deserved it 28 600

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 487

You deserved it 8 107

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 454

You deserved it 12 271

Memento

By you can't remember? - 24/04/2023 12:00

Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 671

Next

Top comments

instnt1nfction 17

Saturday 25 June 2011 16:00

he is a genius

yourlifesfucked 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 16:03

Anyone else wondering why she was lying about her period?

Comments

grdianknight 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 20:46

well, guess you know what you mean to him now, a piece he doesn't want to get pregnant

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 25 June 2011 22:27

Or he's like most guys out there and didn't want to have sex with her on her period - she probably told him she wasn't on it in order to get sex. It's not always the situation you mentioned...

overthedeepend90 3

Saturday 25 June 2011 20:46

If you have to lie to get out of sex, why should he learn your birthday.

Futacy 29

Saturday 25 June 2011 20:48

Happy Birthday!

Futacy 29

Saturday 25 June 2011 20:50

:-0

Crncj 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 20:52

he's a keeper

blargheria 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:03

happy birthday!

Bossman11 6

Monday 27 June 2011 6:56

that car is sexy

nerdsgetmehot 22

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:27

If you're not happy with him, why are you with him? Also, happy birthday! :)

Playful1985 9

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:32

Some women have PMDD which is a violent version of pms. It can be corrected with hormone shots.

jochinguis 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:41

great attention to detail hahaha

talensledge1 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:49

Happy birthday :D

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Awkward Family Work Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health AITA Weird Relationship advice Love Cops Miscellaneous Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents Cake Birthday Dogs Transportation Cars Embarrassing Fire

The Top

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 145

You deserved it 11 901

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend with wet celery, a flying helmet, a feather duster, and an egg whisk as an 'Allo 'Allo! themed sex joke. He didn’t get it so I had to explain it to him, which kind of ruined the joke. In the end we just spent yet another sexless night, bored, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 290

The Top

Today, my wife wasn't feeling well. She called her doctor, who isn't seeing patients due to COVID. Had to take her to the ER. After numerous tests, they told her that her potassium levels were low. Diagnosis: eat a banana. When we get the bill(s) from the hospital, this will be the most expensive banana ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 286

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 65

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 24 970

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 870

You deserved it 4 115

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 607

You deserved it 4 182

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 187

You deserved it 3 474