Sex, TV shows, Awkward and Fantasy: These '80s nostalgia trends are getting out of hand

These '80s nostalgia trends are getting out of hand

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 04:00

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend with wet celery, a flying helmet, a feather duster, and an egg whisk as an 'Allo 'Allo! themed sex joke. He didn’t get it so I had to explain it to him, which kind of ruined the joke. In the end we just spent yet another sexless night, bored, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 286

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Same thing different taste

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 198

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 131

You deserved it 7 406

Imagery

By bunnyluver4545 - 11/01/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 575

You deserved it 36 700

By tacolove69 - 16/02/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 788

You deserved it 3 365

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 3 007

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 133

You deserved it 11 980

DINOSAURS!!

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to cook an extra healthy, vegetable filled meal for my boyfriend and I. Not only did we notice the vegetables were off a little too late, but he also found my hair in his bowl. We had to settle for turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti loops instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 873

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 417

You deserved it 8 895

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 820

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 133

You deserved it 5 691

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 15 August 2023 5:06

I didn't get it either. sex doesn't need to be complicated

core01 30

Tuesday 15 August 2023 4:08

Life is too short to spend it bored & unfulfilled. Go find your fun, even if it means cutting this one loose.

Comments

core01 30

Tuesday 15 August 2023 4:08

Life is too short to spend it bored & unfulfilled. Go find your fun, even if it means cutting this one loose.

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 15 August 2023 5:06

I didn't get it either. sex doesn't need to be complicated

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 15 August 2023 6:54

You ruined it. Wet celery is all you need. It's sexy AF all by itself! It's like putting a hat on a hat.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 15 August 2023 23:48

"Good moaning!" "I don't get it." "Never mind, I was just pissing be..."

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 16 August 2023 0:24

I would have gotten it, and after we'd ended the deed I could have found my 'Allo! 'Allo! DVD-box, and we could have watched an episode or two!😉

jcarter25 12

Friday 18 August 2023 2:26

I’m confused. 😄

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Family Fight Love Work Relatable Students Birds Sleep Animals Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Pregnancy Cheating Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 966

You deserved it 931

The Top

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 112

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 717

You deserved it 30 450

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 162

You deserved it 7 080

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 488

You deserved it 36 749

Today, after over a month of planning, my friend had to cancel her first night out in over a year. Why? Because her "perfect" fiancé didn't want to, and started sulking when she tried to, so decided to put off letting her go out for a few more months. Apparently, it's my fault this happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 147

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 16 345