Kids: Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to...

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 727

You deserved it 2 183

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 497

You deserved it 1 642

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 199

You deserved it 5 189

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

By singleandthankful - 23/02/2013 23:18 - United Kingdom - Beaconsfield

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 248

You deserved it 4 857

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 073

You deserved it 300

By blueheron93 - 13/11/2010 14:25 - Germany

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 237

You deserved it 3 073

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 3 815

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 76 832

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 4 908

By csc4lyfe09 - 03/03/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 3 204

By kitty - 18/10/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 3 154

PandaSmile 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:25

Oh the irony. Does he also think girls can't pee with a tampon in and that they don't fart either?

Nathion 12

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:24

So get a book and educate him

Comments

dexter420 21

Monday 12 October 2015 0:51

Unless u had a colostomy and have a colostomy bag

laurellkawes 31

Monday 12 October 2015 2:08

He should take his own advice. Girls don't have prostrates, they do have colons, otherwise they wouldn't be able to poop

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 12 October 2015 2:27

Wait so girls don't have colons but men want anal sex? I'm confused here.

longhorn427 3

Monday 12 October 2015 2:37

But they don't do they?

anonynous97 13

Monday 12 October 2015 2:38

This isn't just your average every day stupid. This is...advanced stupid!

worldclassrager 39

Monday 12 October 2015 4:18

He should take anatomy in college...

Nightwing_13 2

Monday 12 October 2015 4:32

It's true! Girls don't have colons they only have semi-colons ? Obviously

thatsme293 28

Monday 12 October 2015 5:21

Ask him about the g spot.

Shade1982 20

Tuesday 20 October 2015 12:40

Don't go confusing people with mythical non-existent body parts...

joshi42 16

Monday 12 October 2015 6:22

Well, no anal for him, then.

MSCCG 16

Monday 12 October 2015 8:18

It's gonna be really awkward when he tries to have sex with a girl for the first time with his colon.

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The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, just like the past 10 days, I have COVID. Today was also the day my body decided to betray me. I threw up and simultaneously shit myself for the first time since I was in diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 115

Today, I realized that all my teammates have bigger tits than I do. I'm the only girl on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 583

You deserved it 321

Today, a client hung up on me after calling me "Miss Proper" because I spoke too "clearly" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 64

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 456

You deserved it 6 892

Today, my parents still won't let me drive in the dark. I'm 30 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 483

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 620

You deserved it 28 458

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

Thanks for the input

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