Kids: Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 727

You deserved it 2 183

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 497

You deserved it 1 642

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 199

You deserved it 5 189

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

By singleandthankful - 23/02/2013 23:18 - United Kingdom - Beaconsfield

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 248

You deserved it 4 857

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 073

You deserved it 300

By blueheron93 - 13/11/2010 14:25 - Germany

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 237

You deserved it 3 073

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 3 815

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 76 832

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 4 908

By csc4lyfe09 - 03/03/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 3 204

By kitty - 18/10/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 3 154

Next

Top comments

PandaSmile 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:25

Oh the irony. Does he also think girls can't pee with a tampon in and that they don't fart either?

Nathion 12

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:24

So get a book and educate him

Comments

scarlett3diaz 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 21:05

Maybe he was thinking of prostates ?

Solano2580 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 21:22

No no no, you misunderstood OP! He called you a moron for not mentioning his mistake sooner, and he told you to go read a book about anatomy to catch any other things he's mistaken of!

CliffyB03 28

Sunday 11 October 2015 21:26

We don't have colons... We have semi-colons *ba dum ts*

dexter420 21

Sunday 11 October 2015 22:01

Woman have colons. Just not a prostate

cupcakebruh 21

Monday 12 October 2015 1:30

women have a prostate, it just isn't called that and its smaller, but it has the same structure and almost the same functions.

britbear0731 9

Sunday 11 October 2015 22:21

my ex whos 23 thought that women have prostates......

saffy66 34

Sunday 11 October 2015 22:34

The irony of him calling YOU a moron... I hope you have since received a heartfelt apology, but I doubt it.

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 11 October 2015 23:43

I don't have a colon, here's why: Oh wait....

jimbobsawyer 1

Monday 12 October 2015 0:07

I think you're thinking of prostates buddy... If girls didn't have a colon, how would they poop?

dexter420 21

Monday 12 October 2015 0:46

Look up anatomy you fools lol. So stupid shall i say moron

dexter420 21

Monday 12 October 2015 0:47

No one poops without a colon.

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Teenagers Friends Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 5 932

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 105

You deserved it 73 048

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 485

You deserved it 3 262

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 280

Today, I swear to Christ, I prefer being at work these days, because when I’m at home if it’s not the kids screaming then it’s my wife moaning about nothing, or the dogs whining and barking, or the neighbour coming round to moan about all the noise. Sometimes wish I was bleeding deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 428

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 2 483

Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 1 670