Transportation: Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I...

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 873

You deserved it 3 366

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 325

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 088

You deserved it 32 260

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 99

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 114

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 580

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 195

You deserved it 5 409

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 764

You deserved it 3 822

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 2 717

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - 17/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 55 819

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 12 597

TheMadScientist 13

Monday 22 August 2011 23:00

Awesome kids!

takanuva0123 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Comments

WHOWASTHEPHONE 10

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:16

Maybe they should "lose" something as well.

WhyMeMann 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:21

Happy Birthday!!!:D

princessari88 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:30

Lmaooooo

RealDjRatchet 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:32

That = punishment

ikickgingers 15

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:32

Gotta love kids.

kona314 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:34

It's the thought that counts?

Alexzmoo 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:35

Happy birthday

divadro102 16

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:36

Awww how cute.. Now, no cake for them

starsaregolden 11

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:38

At least they didn't give you the change they found in your purse via the toilet bowl.

eugenejiang 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:39

????????????????????

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 251

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 339

The Top

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 5 443

Today, my boss mistakenly drunk texted me and was talking shit about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 797

You deserved it 1 730

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 189

Today, an old lady came up to me and asked me to break a fifty for her. I gave her two twenties and a ten. I later used the fifty. It was counterfeit. I was conned by a pensioner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 387

Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 295

You deserved it 765

Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 814

You deserved it 4 000

Same thing different taste

Partyblocked

Drive

Lower your expectations

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