Transportation: Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I...

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 873

You deserved it 3 366

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 325

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 088

You deserved it 32 260

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 99

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 114

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 580

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 195

You deserved it 5 409

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 764

You deserved it 3 822

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 2 717

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - 17/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 55 819

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 12 597

TheMadScientist 13

Monday 22 August 2011 23:00

Awesome kids!

takanuva0123 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Comments

dmdandridge 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:54

at least you got your keys back! :)

Glockinator 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:57

Children.... Are so creative

ngocthuy34 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:00

zcheema17 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:01

Aww! How sweet! :P

mollymazin 3

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:06

be happy you got them back. x) happy birthday! :D

tonnyfong 3

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:48

Take their allowance away!

DeLpHe3zY 7

Tuesday 23 August 2011 7:02

thats nice of them lol

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Tuesday 23 August 2011 7:33

Don't call it taking away their allowance, call it "losing it."

astonmartin007 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 7:57

That sucks

PocketRockette 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 8:53

Sounds like something my son would do, lol.....here's an idea take something of theirs and loose it till christmas

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Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 107

...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 53 175

Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 127

Today, my sister-in-law announced she would like me to be her surrogate, so that her body doesn't look like a stretched wobbly mess after childbirth. Apparently, I'm a perfect candidate, as "we won't see a difference." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 175

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 8 038

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 724

You deserved it 9 705

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 061

You deserved it 3 722

Same thing different taste

Partyblocked

Drive

Lower your expectations

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