Intimacy: Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing...

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 868

You deserved it 7 159

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Same thing different taste

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 376

You deserved it 5 712

By alison89430 - 05/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 968

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 1 479

By Allabouttheporn - 22/12/2016 00:05

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 985

You deserved it 3 308

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 198

You deserved it 5 891

By uncomfortable - 12/03/2009 00:20 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 350

You deserved it 5 603

By Devin - 02/08/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 190

You deserved it 5 959

By porkfriedlife - 28/07/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 859

You deserved it 25 735

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 176

You deserved it 5 863

By Langdon - 15/05/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 765

You deserved it 9 604

JManHobbs 0

Monday 24 January 2011 9:21

If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...

xFalzz 0

Monday 24 January 2011 9:11

Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.

Comments

PeteyPablo12308 20

Monday 24 January 2011 11:29

That is SUCH a good movie! I've seen it twice now. That is gross about the guy jacking off though :-P

wtfsnickers 1

Monday 24 January 2011 11:40

maybe it was you he was jerking off to

ShrukiantheMad 0

Monday 24 January 2011 11:52

Check your hair.

DarkHelmet 10

Monday 24 January 2011 11:55

I might actually go and see that movie now

Leftieswillrule 3

Monday 24 January 2011 12:03

oh my god Natalie portman and mila kunis having sex?? I must go see this movie. btw more like f your dad's life, he had to watch a porno with his child

odexy 12

Monday 24 January 2011 12:04

How prude can you be to think this movie was basically a porno? I sort of agree that it was more "vulgar" than what you usually see but it's nowhere near a porno. =/ Great ******* movie though.

rafty4life 3

Monday 24 January 2011 12:24

Look on the bright side, at least your dad wasn't jacking off. At least not until he got home, maybe your mom helped him out.

perdix 29

Monday 24 January 2011 12:42

That's some pretty lightweight **** there. Your family wasted about 30 bucks to see much, mech less than what you could get at youporn for free. You money-wasting n00bs!