Love: Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite...

By MessedXUp - 25/09/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 477

You deserved it 47 326

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Same thing different taste

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 675

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 19/12/2022 15:00

Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 346

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 001

You deserved it 10 820

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 4 688

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 685

You deserved it 1 018

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 3 556

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 3 501

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 129

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 142

CraziOne 0

Friday 25 September 2009 23:21

What is up with girls that dont eat on dates? I dont get this. If you dont want to eat on a first date then do something that doesnt involve food. Like Miniature golf? Bowling? beach? And even if you go out for food, just dont eat a lot. Dont make yourself suffer by drinking a lot of water. It's not healthy.

Zhombie 0

Friday 25 September 2009 23:14

Why not just eat before you went out on the date...I mean really?

Comments

oystercultviking 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 9:36

Sounds like something I'd do :P Oh god, poor you. Truly a dating FYL

teiso_fml 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 9:58

I'm not a guy so I could be wrong, but I imagine that if a guy takes a girl out on a date, he would want to see her enjoy herself. I don't understand why girls think guys wouldn't want to see her enjoy her food. You don't have to be a pig about it, table manners isn't all about the AMOUNT of food you eat, but you should let them see you enjoy your food, instead of making them wonder if you're not having a good time because you didn't like the food or something. When I'm out with someone, I enjoy myself more if I see them enjoying themselves. Correct me if I'm wrong, guys, but that's the way it would seem to me.

Equinox987 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 10:53

Maybe he's into that, you might be lucky :)

Violetina 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 16:04

how can you remember he is funny if he's a 'new guy' you're going out with?

triplethreat13 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 16:10

Guys always say that it's much more comfortable for them if their dates look like they're enjoying themselves. It does not look like you're having fun if you're too damn insecure to eat a meal.

repyourcliche 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 17:17

maybe she meant one of the few guys she hasn't actually been out with yet... as opposed to like, a 'new' person she's never met :)

phoenix03 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 21:05

you do know guys like girls who will actually eat, and if this guy had of thought you were a pig for eating, then he's not worth it. you TOTALLY deserve this.

chibivampire09 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 21:59

On my most recent first date, I wasn't quite sure if I even liked the guy or not so I kinda just was totally and honestly me. I even think I ranted quite a bit. My feeling was that if he didnt like me and all of me then it probably wouldnt work out anyway and since I was so confused I thought I wouldnt be devistated if he never talked to me again. When was this "most recent" first date? About a year ago. We are still together and going strong. My advice is to just be yourself and if he doesnt like it then he's not right for you. although maybe being as frank as I was isn't the best idea for most first dates ;) And dealing with the food thing. My bf loves that i can eat. Even when it's more than he can. So, if they guy you're with wants somone who doesn't eat, tell him to build a robot girlfirend or something because every human girl has to eat sometime. That's all I have to say on the matter :)

giganticbrain 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 22:56

"I went on a date with a new guy..." "I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was..." Something does not add up. If he was new, then how did you know him before?