Love: Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite...

By MessedXUp - 25/09/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 477

You deserved it 47 326

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Same thing different taste

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 675

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 19/12/2022 15:00

Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 346

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 001

You deserved it 10 820

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 4 688

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 685

You deserved it 1 018

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 3 556

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 3 501

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 129

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 142

CraziOne 0

Friday 25 September 2009 23:21

What is up with girls that dont eat on dates? I dont get this. If you dont want to eat on a first date then do something that doesnt involve food. Like Miniature golf? Bowling? beach? And even if you go out for food, just dont eat a lot. Dont make yourself suffer by drinking a lot of water. It's not healthy.

Zhombie 0

Friday 25 September 2009 23:14

Why not just eat before you went out on the date...I mean really?

Comments

FrostyChocolate 0

Thursday 15 April 2010 6:31

Uhh... You're going out with a "new" guy, yet you forgot how funny he was? Something is either wrong there or you fail....

cundy 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 14:26

Seriously Just eat a normal meal on a date... he wont think anything of it.

minidinosaurgoes 9

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:46

been there. my date then knocked over a cup of water because everyone was stairing and he didnt want anyone to know i pissed my self.

DaveTheBrave20 0

Monday 5 March 2012 17:14

Lol so the guy made you wet without beig seductive? Ahaha

jdortega 2

Sunday 13 May 2012 11:38

Can anyone on fml control their bladders.

NellyFC35 19

Thursday 12 July 2012 22:41

Damn.....just damn....I would be so embarrassed

Kenuru 21

Friday 22 February 2013 0:32

Try eating an apple next time. They help curb appetites, so you can eat less during a meal while avoiding the urine trouble.

Yeliab333 20

Saturday 18 May 2013 16:54

Why didn't you just go to the bathroom if you had to go?

6demon6spawn6 12

Monday 21 July 2014 20:30

dont do this. guys like when we eat like a normal humans. dont just get a salad and eat two bites, thats stupid! order a burger and eat the whole damn thing, that what guys like to see!