Miscellaneous: Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 841

You deserved it 6 390

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Same thing different taste

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 499

You deserved it 3 204

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:00

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 110

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 2 264

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 359

You deserved it 2 625

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 650

You deserved it 4 912

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 4 381

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 2 984

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 180

You deserved it 3 812

By firstdategoals - 08/06/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 165

You deserved it 3 855

By explanations - 14/06/2013 06:48 - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 626

You deserved it 7 933

shan789mudge 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:23

aww haha poor guy! =P

happy_me 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:24

awww poor guy :( fhl i hope you dont judge him for that only. I'd be ******** my pants too

Comments

featherhead 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:36

ahw, the poor boy..

BRBICECREAMTRUCK 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:36

He either has a really crazy imagination or hes just a pussy

venom7 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

haha.. are you serious! Stop being a pussy and next time you see the dad clean something scary infornt of him! lol ;)

eurghmylife 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

Thats HORRIBLEE :( id kill my dad!

luvable_loozer 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

so glad my dad wasn't a cop -- I'd prolly still be a virgin

meeeep 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:37

FYL for dating a guy that cries

Talia070 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

lolll .

ultimateshitter 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

ahahahaha dad: 1 you: 0

Emwo 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:38

Dad's are usually supposed to do that, aren't they? oh well, hopefully your date got the message when he took out the gun. Poor guy

anniesaysbueno 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:39

way to pick a man... did he say the tears were because it was his "time of the month"?

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The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 203

Today, I have to fill in a (now former) co-worker's shifts for the next few weeks. She took two of those shady energy pills and downed them with root beer during her shift, causing her to pass out, and landing her in the hospital. Why do we sell these things, and why haven't they been outlawed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 75

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 325

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 284

Today, not to be "that guy" but my wife quit her job from fear of COVID, we have no kids, so am I really unreasonable to expect that she might do SOME of the housework instead of none of it, and then asking me if I would mind doing the dishes and laundry as soon as I get home? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 120

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 321

You deserved it 7 182

Same thing different taste

Crafty

Parental advice

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