dude, if it's an actual phobia, I would do dump his ass ...

If I have any understanding of DocBastard, he is incapable of being confused (or, if it IS possible, he has the sense not to comment about it). He may act confused out of sarcasm to make people look like idiots, act confused out of mockery to make people look like idiots, or act confused to trigger a violent response and/or confusion at his confusion (also for the aforementioned reason). Then, again, I'm thirteen years old and rather new to FML (or, at least, new enough not to know folks here very well). Doc, I apologize if my judgement is entirely off and you're not as much as a... erm, bastard (for lack of cognitive ability due [due to sleep deprivation] which disallows me to be any more creative; it seems rather fitting, anyways) as I may make you out to be. No, I do not consider my excessive grandiloquence to mark me as intellectually superior. Or, as it was so deftly put, "u think ur always rite cus u use big wrods," -- this is false.

you're a Pansy and your boyfriends a tool. you two are perfect for each other

Holy shit. An intelligent 13 year old?!?! One who types properly and can construct sentences? One who uses big words and knows what they mean? ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS SARCASM?! ...I'm thoroughly impressed. And yes, that's mainly what Doc's about.

he's a keeper.

I feel your pain, op.

yes, such phobia sounds ridic, but its a phobia... and all phobias are terrible. dump the dumbass.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or to despair at how surprising it is to find said qualities in today's youth. (It seems laughter won over; thank you. xD) I'll simply say that, with the father I have, /not/ having an understanding of English as deep as grammar and basic use of language and of humor pertaining to various forms of sarcasm, satire, mockery, etcetera would be quite difficult. Oh, and it probably helped that I used to read dictionaries when I had trouble sleeping (and often struggle with insomnia). Now, if only I didn't so thoroughly abuse (or, at least overuse) parenthetical statements (the irony kills me) and make paragraphs out of what should only be a sentence or two. Have I already thanked you? Beyond thanks for a much-needed joke, I'm glad of the good impression I've left. I'm also glad I reckoned him well, despite my dubious cognitive ability (why do I feel as though I'm being redundant? --have I already cast doubt upon it by stating my sleep deprivation?). *flees before she can type a completely irrelevant wall of text*

I was referring to myself in that last part, by the way. I don't seem to be able to speak in the first person in... actions? Is there a consensus on the word used to describe what's inside asterisks? I'm not very... learned, if you will, in Internet "lingo." (The farthest my vernacular deviates from something you might find in a textbook is usually "LOL," "OMG," or some other stiff exclamation that makes it seem like an out-of-touch 57-year-old is typing, rather than a hopefully not-so out-of-touch 13-year-old. ...I don't think I've ever used that many hyphens in one sentence before.) Ah-h-h-h, see what I mean by "[making] paragraphs out of what should only be a sentence or two"? This comment only needed the first sentence! D: I think I should try to go to sleep now.

This whole thread proves two things: society is thin skinned and pop culture is promoting weakness. The real advice would be for op to seek professional help and not "dump his ass". Dumping him would be the weak way out.