Miscellaneous: Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man.... - FML

By Mofisto - 15/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 248

You deserved it 88 990

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 658

You deserved it 7 417

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 07:00 - Brazil - Fraiburgo

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 04:58 - United States - Latrobe

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 495

You deserved it 2 385

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 453

You deserved it 7 053

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 1 894

By John - 30/06/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 391

You deserved it 3 606

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 3 987

By Noname - 18/03/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 019

You deserved it 36 156

Next

Top comments

Arbosis 0

Monday 16 February 2009 5:08

wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?

that_one_guy 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:54

I bet he was doing the highly credited and validated attack plan of "scoping out for bis." Of course I'm kidding about highly credited and validated bit but never the less. And I wouldn't worry to much about you loosing the fight, unless some mates saw it happen, some of those women can be pretty fierce.

Comments

crazy_diva 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 3:17

DUDE Women own. Of course you lost.

omnomnom_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:52

That's what you get for assuming a woman can't kick a man's ass.

cloudkittycat 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 7:43

Lesbian bar. Why would you be there if you have a penis (and always have had one)? Douchebag.

tashtash18 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 10:27

lmao..sorry haha well some females are man-like...

paulfolio 0

Friday 1 May 2009 19:08

HAHAHAHA! Pussy!

candyxpopcorn 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 22:14

Go Girls!

wax_soup 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:52

BALLS BALLS BALLZ BALLS BALLS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

dan81892 2

Monday 18 May 2009 22:51

why is everyone calling him a woman? even if he did start it, it was probably like 1 vs. 30

opihoih 0

Monday 25 May 2009 0:20

you're just a huge pussy

TheDummyTosser 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:40

Oh, don't mess with those lesbians, most WILL kick your ass if provoked. Especially those extreme-feminist ones.

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The Top

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, I had a brain fart moment while asking out a cute guy. I meant to say, "When are you going to let me take you out for coffee?” but what actually came out of my mouth was, “When are you going to let me do you?” He turned bright red and I ran away, and I’m too scared to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 265

Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 434

Today, my country told me that I don’t matter, and my right to my body and the care for that body is not my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 570

Today, despite being innocent, I’m out $10,000 for bail, lawyers, and missed work. We haven’t even got a trial date yet, and if it goes to trial I’m out another $5000. Then I might have to go to jail. Oh and my employer just cut my pay and bonuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 139

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 3 523

Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 643

You deserved it 3 829