Love: Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out...

By illenram06 - 11/07/2011 15:37 - Philippines

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 769

You deserved it 6 688

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 08:17 - Australia

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 534

You deserved it 2 859

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 1 652

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 15:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 821

You deserved it 7 839

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 121

Appearance matters

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 23:00

Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 391

By Foolish - 18/07/2016 06:51 - United States - Los Altos

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 1 915

By theawfulpresent - 30/01/2013 00:28 - United States - Germantown

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 3 442

By Ella - 24/07/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 458

You deserved it 28 225

By HelpPlease - 11/02/2016 23:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 526

You deserved it 2 666

By stuck - 12/06/2016 05:59 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 175

You deserved it 4 347

amrik 11

Monday 11 July 2011 19:09

sell him

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 11 July 2011 19:10

it's called a gun.

Comments

triggerit 5

Monday 11 July 2011 20:21

op say you got AID...

krysxkatastrophe 14

Monday 11 July 2011 20:22

Been there, done that. Call him from a safe place and stay at a friend's house a few days. If he obsessively calls, call the police and file a harassment or stalking report.

johnnysfail 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:24

hire a body guard? or just get manny pacquiao to knock him out..

SomeFMLPerson 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:25

So... Are you dead?

themanuel08 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:28

sucks

antoniocalos15 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:29

lol thats sary

letmeloveyou 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:32

did you ever see that movie "Enough" with Jennifer Lopez?

helene123456789 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:36

y wuld u do such a thing just dump hom move away n change ur name

THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8

Monday 11 July 2011 20:47

like that would be easy !!!

sakforduc 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:37

tell him you lost your job and your pregnant. lol

atroxletum 6

Monday 11 July 2011 21:46

*you're

steveakafranxy 7

Tuesday 12 July 2011 0:49

#145 that is entirely not the point

mentch12 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:41

OP's life sucks, I don't blame you at all for wanting to get rid of him

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Scams Social Media Kids School Education Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 91

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 646

You deserved it 3 615

The Top

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 219

You deserved it 1 145

Today, and everyday since we got a puppy in March, my husband is jealous of the puppy who follows me everywhere. He was the one that wanted the puppy and now he practically hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 191

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 748

You deserved it 687

Today, with 3 miles left of a 16-mile bike ride, I got a flat tire and had to push my bike back to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 218

Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 239

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 3 370

Same thing different taste

Secretive

Appearance matters

Top comments

Comments