Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious,...

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 662

You deserved it 5 201

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 5 795

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 6 047

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 793

You deserved it 345

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 526

You deserved it 4 937

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 455

You deserved it 31 224

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 5 397

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 383

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 3 851

Coming and going

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 3 386

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 287

sjks 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 20:09

i think saving a life might be a reward

haweb 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 20:25

agree with everyone else. So you had to deal with an unappealing part of your job. I think it's worth it if it means saving someone's life.

Comments

ct2k7 4

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:45

@68, protocol is same here in uk

shooter308 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:08

Next time use his shirt. Put it over his mouth, then do "rescue breathing". It doesn't give a good seal, but it'll do until you can get a mask or EMS shows up. This way, if he pukes, you wont get as much awesomeness as you did. I've seen this... I've done this...

ChronicFAIL 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 6:29

Of course. Cover the mouth. That way, when he coughs up whatever was blocking his throat, it can just fall right back down and get stuck again. *******. Genius. o_O

Yasa_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:07

To #89 What do you think happens if they're using a BVM or a pocket mask?

shooter308 0

Monday 12 October 2009 3:07

Alright fucknut, he cleared the airway of the foreign object, then started "CPR" (hopefully only ventilations since it sounds like he as a pulse). The shirt idea comes after securing his airway, you dumb shit. I don't even believe this one anyway. He says he brought him back with "CPR", when it sounds like artificial ventilations where all he did. Not very many people come back after "layperson" CPR, and if someone does say it happened (spontaneous respirations/pulse and fully alert and oriented) they are ******* lying.

rach_magoo 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:53

I hope that has taught you to carry a pocket mask at all times!

Niceplace 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 3:38

YDI for not knowing how to CPR proprely, if he threw up it's because you sent air in his belly, not in his lungs..

shooter308 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 3:58

Totally. Open the airway first.

muffinsareyummy 1

Sunday 11 October 2009 4:17

you just saved a man's life. what were you expecting, you selfish bitch? YDI.

cornsnake 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 5:38

atleast you saved him. im sure he is gratefull. and #84 he did not want anything in return. its just that wouldn't you hate having someone elses puke in your mouth? if you dont i think i will have to take what that dude did and do it in the toilet.

wajalama 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 6:26

oh well, you were just doing your job, right? Yeah, you would be disgusted, but at least he was grateful towards you for saving his life. Unless he was an asshole. Then, you should have shove that thing back down his throat lol.

ChronicFAIL 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 6:26

Perhaps a gay hero.. I rofl at that idea. :D

Immune2ice 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 6:30

Well that can happen when your giving CPR. You shouldn't be expecting any reward or anything. Sides if your trained in CPR you should know vomit could come.