Kids: Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her...

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 71 824

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 239

You deserved it 6 678

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 5 030

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 490

You deserved it 5 119

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 194

You deserved it 18 840

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 477

You deserved it 5 780

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 6 050

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 39 983

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 213

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 821

You deserved it 30 873

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 3 901

xScarletx 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:02

Yeah YDI for talking like that around your 5 year old

Broc 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:06

Why are you bad-mouthing people like that at all, let alone in front of a five-year-old? Really, it says more about your own insecurities...

Comments

AnneFTW 17

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:58

What great parents you are.

sfsdfsf 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:28

you need to be more careful around your daughter obviously. who do you think you are?

dorkasaur 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:34

your an idiot dont u know that when you have kids you have to watch what you say when you say it? Geez im 25 and i know that

staciieee_x3 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:36

puhleaseeee. hypocrite.

1234five 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:14

way to go.

cthulhu1138 1

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:25

Protip: If you say something in front of a 5 year-old, there's a 95% chance they'll repeat it to someone else. This is especially true of secrets, gossip, and profanity.

likeduhhx4 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:53

agree with #22.

spartan_girl 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:52

LOL, when I was about 4, I called my dad a "butthead" because i heard it on tv and thought it was funny. apparently i called him that for several days, which he did not appreciate. so, while it's not good that your daughter heard you say that about another woman, i'm guessing you didn't do it intentionally. kids are funny that way...

AhHAHA 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:44

You're teaching your kid the most important lesson in life. BE BRUTALLY HONEST, especially when insults and slander are involved. Keep up the good work!