Love: Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing...

By UHM - 06/10/2013 21:54 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 264

You deserved it 4 013

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Same thing different taste

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 336

You deserved it 1 886

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 3 192

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 952

You deserved it 7 687

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 361

You deserved it 3 504

By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 440

You deserved it 4 231

By bregaja - 25/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 848

You deserved it 1 622

By spanishsucks - 01/04/2012 03:01 - United States - Livingston

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 303

You deserved it 2 883

Still the same

By John Doe - 10/01/2020 05:00

Today, my mom showed to my girlfriend my naked baby photos. My girlfriend said, "Nothing’s changed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 700

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 5 440

Beepbeep7 14

Monday 7 October 2013 2:41

Wow your mother has issues.

Gearden 8

Monday 7 October 2013 4:48

I think his mom is a bit ovary protective.

Comments

why57why 21

Tuesday 8 October 2013 21:27

Well it is probably true

xRezSynn 15

Wednesday 9 October 2013 15:12

Wow.

tb1010 1

Thursday 10 October 2013 3:04

Abstinence in 3-2-1......

anthony99 14

Thursday 10 October 2013 5:11

Sterling Archer, is that you?

Brutaldollie 3

Saturday 12 October 2013 4:31

who says suckled? honestly.

Winterizer 2

Monday 14 October 2013 5:13

R her boobs big?

Winterizer 2

Monday 14 October 2013 5:15

Your girlfriend not your mom! Sorry should have specified

shinikageWolf 15

Saturday 26 October 2013 19:47

Eminemfan7 6

Wednesday 30 October 2013 1:42

Ewwww...:/

young_stud 14

Friday 1 November 2013 15:19

your mom is one weird ************

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The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 244

You deserved it 7 781

The Top

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss then announced that he's coming with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 4 006

Today, while drinking and catching up with a ex that I still love, she invited a guy over, flirted with him right in front of me, then went home with him, When I messaged her to say I found it disrespectful as fuck, she replied with sorry, she didn’t mean to hurt me, and that she misses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 1 347

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 3 074

Today, my mental state went down another 2 levels when after 2 years of unemployment, I finally got offered a great job abroad. However, I probably won't even be able to go because I've reached the point where I'm too broke to even apply to get my passport made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 128

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 356

You deserved it 3 652

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 573

You deserved it 4 389

Same thing different taste

Still the same

Awkward much?

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