Love: Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing...

By UHM - 06/10/2013 21:54 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 264

You deserved it 4 013

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Same thing different taste

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 336

You deserved it 1 886

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 3 192

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 952

You deserved it 7 687

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 361

You deserved it 3 504

By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 440

You deserved it 4 231

By bregaja - 25/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 848

You deserved it 1 622

By spanishsucks - 01/04/2012 03:01 - United States - Livingston

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 303

You deserved it 2 883

Still the same

By John Doe - 10/01/2020 05:00

Today, my mom showed to my girlfriend my naked baby photos. My girlfriend said, "Nothing’s changed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 700

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 5 440

Beepbeep7 14

Monday 7 October 2013 2:41

Wow your mother has issues.

Gearden 8

Monday 7 October 2013 4:48

I think his mom is a bit ovary protective.

Comments

QuietLittleMouse 7

Monday 7 October 2013 16:26

That's really creepy-sounding. Is there context here that makes it less creepy? I want there to be context that makes it less creepy.

derpyshy 16

Monday 7 October 2013 17:13

I'm getting flashbacks to MOMMY DEAREST. If your mom starts breaking out the wire hangers, OP, run.

jessejamesc 8

Monday 7 October 2013 17:20

italians! am I right?

Bcfrmkc816 17

Monday 7 October 2013 20:02

Well it's true as long as it wasn't last week.

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Tuesday 8 October 2013 0:09

Howard Wolowitz? Is that you?

sugoine 12

Tuesday 8 October 2013 2:11

Yikes! Mum a shrink or just in love with Freud...? On the second meeting, she's going to bring up your potty training escapades...

skuester 4

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:38

How old old are you

TeeEmm05 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 7:49

That's not awkward..

iheartLA 10

Tuesday 8 October 2013 8:38

Moms love their baby boy's and its hard to realize that they won't always be the #1 woman in his life.

greggly123 6

Tuesday 8 October 2013 19:57

What the hell is wrong with your disgusting mother that she would say such a sick, demented comment??? Especially to someone she just met!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 39 683

You deserved it 7 123

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, my teen son's ADHD is so bad that he wandered off WITH my car key and WITHOUT his phone, so I had to get a lift to our family event. When we got back, he was sat watching TV and asked me where I’d been all day. It took everything I had not to scream in his face, "YOUR SISTER'S FUCKING WEDDING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 180

Today, I learned that one of the reasons I may be getting migraines every day is because I subconsciously clench my jaw a lot due to stress. To try and have it hurt less, I’ve gone back to wearing my plastic retainer during the day, but it makes my gag reflux act up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 193

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 3 261

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 19 424

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 63 134

Today, I finally got pulled into a threesome with the girl I've loved for years and another friend. She led the interaction with, "You only get to touch her" then, "I just wish [her ex] was here" and finished with, "OK, it's weird with you here, you can just go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 263

Same thing different taste

Still the same

Awkward much?

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