Health: Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even... - FML

By Unknown - 26/10/2008 12:56 - France

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 244

You deserved it 26 171

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bad, so bad

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 07:20 - United States

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 905

You deserved it 2 334

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 216

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 413

You deserved it 5 074

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 76

By nina - 11/08/2010 16:04 - Luxembourg

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 40 883

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 072

You deserved it 17 582

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 025

You deserved it 5 095

Dealbreaker

By banarama - 05/02/2021 07:54

Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 2 907

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 850

You deserved it 3 879

Next

Top comments

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:37

who the **** kisses like that? i didn't even know such a problem existed. weird.

laceyxx 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 6:16

i agree with #11. if he sucked so bad, no pun intended, then why didn't you just stop getting your face sucked off?

Comments

meganwearsprada 0

Friday 27 February 2009 4:28

haha thats happend to me too it doesnt make u a ****..WTF?? it just means guys dont get that girls can get hickies on their lips

kykupkake21 3

Monday 2 July 2012 23:03

She couldn't even remember the guy, that's what makes her a ****.

surething 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:26

That happened to me too.. PLEASE GUYS, LEARN HOW TO KISS! Omg, I got home my upper lip was bleeding.. my friends made fun of me for a whole week

redsox4021 0

Saturday 24 April 2010 21:49

learn how to kiss? u would need to practice on a girl? maybe he was practicing with you it's not like u can really teach that and btw lots of girls can't either

JuniorBSTN 3

Saturday 17 December 2011 2:58

Your Just Kissing The Wrong Guys

jrgr 6

Wednesday 29 February 2012 2:44

This also happened to me, but it was my bottom lip

britty1816 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:10

haha yea guys really need to learn how to kiss better! but girls sure can ;)

rxxk 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:00

I wish I could have practice :(

labelleza329 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 3:38

thats happened to me before... and i had a fat lip for a week!

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:37

who the **** kisses like that? i didn't even know such a problem existed. weird.

veesky 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 10:34

my ex-boyfriend bit me by accident the first time we made out so yea these problems r possible and really common

cadillacgal79 32

Wednesday 16 July 2014 5:12

34-usually biting your SO's lip is a playful and romantic gesture, but from what I gather from your comment he musta chomped that sucker

jsmith1199 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 5:17

wow it seems like all of you are a bunch of *****.. maybe you should get to know him before you start making out with him. he shouldve bit your lips off

dizz0rder 0

Friday 27 March 2009 13:53

its the not remembering part that makes a girl somewhat of a ****

laceyxx 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 6:16

i agree with #11. if he sucked so bad, no pun intended, then why didn't you just stop getting your face sucked off?

Aero_boy 4

Thursday 17 June 2010 1:14

Haha #12 "if he sucked so bad" :D that wass punny.

ferrettamer 6

Tuesday 14 September 2010 0:36

Guys you are missing the point. She doesn't have blue lips from kissing it is from licking a blue waffle. P.S. You just got thread jacked!

bunniex1 11

Saturday 5 May 2012 18:22

Tht made me throw up a lil

Vintage_fml 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 14:33

i would never kiss a stranger,yuck

dramaababyy 0

Friday 11 June 2010 5:32

lol why not? it's fun. you never see em again and have a good time.

just_dandy20 2

Wednesday 15 August 2012 12:23

#30 Why not? Hmm..... HERPES! And any other nasty shit you can think of.

Keywords

Sadness Health Lonely Dentist Awkward Abuse Work Parents Miscellaneous Birthday Relatable OCD Mental health Cleaning Love Cute Housework Argument Kids Cats Animals Underwear Intimacy Bikes Camping Vacation Boredom Friends Music Annoying

The Top

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 828

You deserved it 1 359

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 235

You deserved it 6 703

The Top

Today, my coworker called out for the sixth time in two weeks with no reason, while my manager was out until noon. It was just the three of us in my department. He’s had zero repercussions and has been doing this for months. They threatened to fire me for taking five minutes in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 81

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 990

You deserved it 3 558

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 847

You deserved it 6 044

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 433

You deserved it 3 339

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 323

You deserved it 4 444

Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 1 322