Miscellaneous: Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago,...

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 9 440

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 485

You deserved it 4 656

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 130

World's #1 father

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 10:00

Today, my baby daddy texted me after months of me being alone and pregnant, asking if we could hang out. I'm on bed rest, and almost due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 278

By kelly.duggan - 21/04/2014 04:03 - Canada - Carleton Place

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 667

You deserved it 11 830

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 730

You deserved it 14 418

Revelations

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 02:01

Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 68

Denial

By Isabella - 20/09/2022 22:30

Today, I'm 9 months pregnant and the father of my child has suddenly decided that the child I've carried for 9 months isn't his, and that it was "too late" to try and fix our relationship. He's the only man who could be the father, he's just finding every excuse to say, "Sorry, but no thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 175

Deadbeat

By stepdaddydoesitbetteranyway - 13/10/2020 20:05

Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 169

By Guess I'm not getting laid - 03/08/2018 14:30 - United States - Glasgow

Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 608

You deserved it 361

By newdad - 06/09/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 819

You deserved it 6 004

kut19 6

Monday 11 July 2011 12:04

I'd say the deadbeat is sadder.

PennyLane27 32

Monday 11 July 2011 12:11

A man doesn't have to be a biological father to be a daddy!

Comments

sydnehhchocotaco 0

Monday 11 July 2011 19:57

um. why be on FML rather than take care of your four day old son? lol

taazer 12

Monday 11 July 2011 20:05

i think it's kinda sweet :) except from the 11 months thing :)

cj775 2

Monday 11 July 2011 20:13

your wrong! it can last over twelve months, and nine is just the norm. read a book.

geeksaresexy 18

Tuesday 12 July 2011 10:53

Yes it can go over 9 months but you would be induced at 42 weeks!

katybaker 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:14

by the way gestation can last up to a year but not very common. 9-11 mo. is common...

sbuxchica0918 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:21

either way op is a *****, she might have been cheating or she got knocked up by a guy that she's only been with for a couple months!

Pazu_fml 10

Tuesday 12 July 2011 1:28

Having sex with a new boyfriend after breaking up with the old one makes someone a "*****"?

aurasaura 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:26

it can last 11 months in freak cases.

TwoZeroOZ 2

Monday 11 July 2011 20:39

Why does the OP and everyone here assume the ex knew exactly when the kid was born?

iveanne 0

Monday 11 July 2011 20:52

op is the loser here. she got pregnant by someone so soon after breaking up with her bf then wonders why the baby daddy won't step up. not to diminish the fact that her baby daddy is an irresponsible jerk, but he could also be wondering if the baby is his or her ex's. were talking 2 months here op - not years. it's not that much of a stretch, especially since you seem to get around without missing a beat!!