Intimacy: Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 929

You deserved it 6 204

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 394

You deserved it 9 425

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 809

You deserved it 5 727

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 391

You deserved it 7 937

It's a doggy dog world

By Stephon - 04/08/2021 02:01

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 220

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 708

You deserved it 5 929

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 093

You deserved it 13 413

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 6 332

By Dontwaketheneighbors - 06/12/2012 14:24 - United States - Santee

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 4 578

Effective

By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 209

You deserved it 3 482

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 204

cb1002630 11

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:26

Bet you became a screamer as well

BulldogHoops 14

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:24

You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.

Comments

Mundyshka 1

Thursday 28 March 2013 21:31

Once, when my boyfriend and I were having sex, my cat sneaked up from behind and started sniffing my boyfriend's ass and... and... oh heaven...

karmicsamadi86 9

Thursday 28 March 2013 21:33

My dog's still do this. Even from 2 floors below, in the middle of the night, 5 years after we've been married....

jedawi 13

Friday 29 March 2013 17:30

Apart from the mauling, congrats! :D

ElliotC 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 2:50

Bet it was worth it :)

CanadianCutie22 16

Friday 5 April 2013 4:43

awkward with the dog in the room!

Reckless_beauty 0

Friday 5 April 2013 6:22

Divorce that mother ******, ASAP

samimcCune 15

Saturday 20 April 2013 12:45

orgasms seem to require much more sacrifice these days, sometimes good sometimes bad... hope you're okay. at least that's one hell of a finish? ha, hope you're not to traumatized to give her another one and i hope she's really grateful for that one!

legendxs 20

Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:34

Next time lock the dog in the attick or the basement and let her scream her hell up.

OhGodWut 1

Monday 10 June 2013 4:14

I know how you feel, my dog will bark and growl and wimper if he hears me moan, because he thinks my boyfriend is hurting me xD We tried locking him on the outside of the room but he only gets louder and informs the rest of the house of what's going on in my bedroom!