Intimacy: Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 929

You deserved it 6 204

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 394

You deserved it 9 425

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 809

You deserved it 5 727

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 390

You deserved it 7 937

It's a doggy dog world

By Stephon - 04/08/2021 02:01

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 220

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 708

You deserved it 5 929

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 092

You deserved it 13 413

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 6 332

By Dontwaketheneighbors - 06/12/2012 14:24 - United States - Santee

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 4 578

Effective

By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 209

You deserved it 3 482

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 203

cb1002630 11

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:26

Bet you became a screamer as well

BulldogHoops 14

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:24

You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.

Comments

DDCA 24

Thursday 28 March 2013 4:24

That bites... But you deserve it for not closing the door. Dumbass.

MikeyScene420 17

Thursday 28 March 2013 4:25

Sucks to be you. My girlfriend is a gasper so i can fool around with her with her parents in the room and they dont even notice. Also, her dog LOVES me lol

Pstraka6 20

Thursday 28 March 2013 4:25

take it as a compliment!

Ziggy122 15

Thursday 28 March 2013 5:26

Uh... Close the door?

Jezzababy 10

Thursday 28 March 2013 6:09

Haha oh man sucks to be you :P

Contactbhama 2

Thursday 28 March 2013 6:56

Most probably the dog is a female and she thinks you are a dog. Now she wants an ****** from you. I'm sure you can do it.

Rydoc111 3

Thursday 28 March 2013 7:15

Maybe he thought you were trying to play fetch since you were dangling balls in front of him....

simplysarcastics 26

Thursday 28 March 2013 8:46

Dude... Is it so hard to close a door or take the poor dog outside. Ydi, and this isn't an fml. No one wants to hear about how you make your lady scream all through the night LOL!