Health: Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his...

By okseñoryoucrazy - 02/02/2015 00:43 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 043

You deserved it 2 984

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Same thing different taste

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 816

You deserved it 410

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 515

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 887

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 4 906

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 4 501

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 270

You deserved it 4 011

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 189

You deserved it 3 223

By animelover - 25/07/2010 23:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 678

You deserved it 10 819

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 057

You deserved it 3 976

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 333

DemonNecron 9

Monday 2 February 2015 13:18

To be fair they are scary, I mean it can make people

colton_colton 49

Monday 2 February 2015 13:18

It's better than him peeing on everything or something

Comments

colton_colton 49

Monday 2 February 2015 13:18

It's better than him peeing on everything or something

Zoldyck 17

Monday 2 February 2015 13:18

Would it be embarrassing to admit that I'm still scared of penises and I'm 15 years old?

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 2 February 2015 13:37

Yes, yes it would.

katekoala 13

Monday 2 February 2015 13:48

Said the guy with the phallic picture.

jcfrisco 13

Monday 2 February 2015 15:05

Paco pls

Kielnmsoftly 26

Monday 2 February 2015 19:54

He said penises...... Does he have more than one? I would be ******* scared too.

ProfessorMctitie 20

Monday 2 February 2015 21:12

sound like you just have a tiny dick, it would scare me to

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 2 February 2015 23:59

"Phallic"? It's a taco. If anything, it's… something that looks like a penis is phallic, so what's the word for something that looks like a ******?

dragonkisses28 25

Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:43

To be fair, #12's picture looks like a banana if you just glance at it. To answer the above question, ****** translates to sheath or scabbard. So...yeah.

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Tuesday 3 February 2015 6:13

@84, vaginal?

unpossible 26

Tuesday 3 February 2015 6:34

The word for ******-like is "yonic".

DemonNecron 9

Monday 2 February 2015 13:18

To be fair they are scary, I mean it can make people

teentee401 36

Monday 2 February 2015 14:49

Make people...what? The suspense is too great!

Rawrshi 25

Monday 2 February 2015 18:29

Especially after a pregnancy scare!

xxNIGHTxx_fml 17

Monday 2 February 2015 19:33

Kinda the point. #55

Rawrshi 25

Monday 2 February 2015 19:56

"Caaarlooosss... !"

buckstop1 37

Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:41

#60, I believe she was referring to #30 saying "Make people... what?". #3 didn't add a period after "people".

luststarrr 22

Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:44

Captain Obvious, is that you? ;)

Twotlet_Sprekle 5

Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:24

It think he means it makes people. As in the creation of people, but honestly it's only the catalyst, the woman does the real work

XxNekoLovexX 26

Monday 2 February 2015 13:19

Kids really do say the dardnest things cx poor little guy. He'll get over it when he's older...hopefully

1dvos_grl3 21

Monday 2 February 2015 19:54

Or he can be one of those trans gender kids.. In that case, nope.

NightKat 25

Monday 2 February 2015 13:19

That has to the best reaction to a penis ever lmfao

184886837272837 32

Monday 2 February 2015 15:32

I can think of a few better ones

MrConcise 34

Monday 2 February 2015 16:33

#36 - Totally, I don't know how anybody could disagree, considering this site is 50% a Sex-Gone-Wrong Archive.

buckstop1 37

Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:44

Agreed #5. Precisely why I added it to my Favorites.

gatorclay97 28

Monday 2 February 2015 13:19

On the bright side we know he's not gay...

flufee2 27

Monday 2 February 2015 13:21

Hahahah

chosha_fml 26

Monday 2 February 2015 14:10

As there's nothing wrong with being gay, that wouldn't be a 'bright side.'

volvagia720 6

Monday 2 February 2015 16:26

Although I hold no particular dislike those who are homosexual, being 100% homosexual is wrong when it comes to natural selection.

vlalam 24

Monday 2 February 2015 13:20

ew.. he is definitely gonna use protection when he grows up.. lol, just kidding.. kids r innocent and it's just a phase that will pass.. u will laugh at it when he grows up and that's some memory to have

nietzche 8

Monday 2 February 2015 13:20

At least he wont ********** in public toilet

DrChimpNipples 6

Monday 2 February 2015 16:23

Lol yeah... At least he won't do that one thing that, I feel like, most people are courteous enough not to do... Or, maybe I'm part of a select few who don't coat public toilets with my nut milk... Who knows?