Miscellaneous: Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public,... - FML

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 8 780

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Same thing different taste

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 416

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 800

You deserved it 9 690

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 881

You deserved it 4 389

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 706

You deserved it 5 020

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 261

You deserved it 6 690

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 997

You deserved it 3 820

By Miramichi - 30/05/2011 12:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 598

You deserved it 8 943

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 42 014

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 941

You deserved it 591

Next

Top comments

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:45

Let him find out if you don't get your way, you yell "RAPE!" until you do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Dump his immature ass.

Comments

docscientist 9

Wednesday 18 January 2012 16:20

Get into a penis yelling contest, that'll make him stop.

deequu 20

Wednesday 18 January 2012 16:32

...and you should tell ******. OMG Y U SO STUPID?!?!?

Brelywi 15

Wednesday 18 January 2012 16:32

YDI for dating a 12 year old.

goskatey 7

Wednesday 18 January 2012 16:47

Goodluck by the proposal!

isis_morrigan 18

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:24

respond with "yes, yours is microscopic"

aFreedom127 9

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:34

Reply equally loud, "wish you had a bigger one!"

listicka 5

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:44

What is wrong with you, why are you still dating him if he behaves like he is child?

tonifeise 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:52

Too young for you, bro

Mr25_fml 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:12

That man does whatever he wants, WHENEVER he wants

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:38

Slowly walk away, call the cops, and deny having anything to do with him (I highly doubt the cops will do more than talk to him and learn nothings wrong, but still, an eye for an eye)

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The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 624

You deserved it 34 713

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 744

You deserved it 276

Today, I was saying goodbye to all my close friends before I move out of state. I'd made plans with one friend in particular to meet up before I move away; he didn't bother to respond to my message or calls. Guess I confused a coworker for a friend, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 153

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 13 256

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 252

You deserved it 3 274

Today, I had my final piano performance. There is a guy in my class who constantly tells me I suck at piano, so I was looking forward to watching him play badly since he never practices. Instead, he played the most beautiful music that would make Mozart weep. He got a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 735

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 471

You deserved it 5 132