Miscellaneous: Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public,...

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 143

You deserved it 8 781

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By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 416

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 335

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 800

You deserved it 9 690

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 882

You deserved it 4 389

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 707

You deserved it 5 020

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 261

You deserved it 6 690

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 3 820

By Miramichi - 30/05/2011 12:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 598

You deserved it 8 943

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 42 015

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 942

You deserved it 591

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:45

Let him find out if you don't get your way, you yell "RAPE!" until you do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Dump his immature ass.

Comments

rosemary_fml 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 3:12

Just walk away.

Okayitwasme 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:23

Take him to a gay bar! He'll shut up. LOL

InUrArea 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:24

Continually yell small Whenever he yells penis

andreajassel 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:11

Dammm that must be embarrassing

ImSoEffedUp 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:19

How old is he.....? 13.....?

terrask 11

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:03

And you still consider that lame excuse of a man your ''boyfriend''?

suckingatlife 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:47

New Boyfriend maybe?

just_sayin_81 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:23

Let him - it makes him look stupid not u

karmicsamadi86 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 19:26

So he's 4?

delaneyrockstar 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 21:35

Dump him.

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The Top

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 33 942

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 204

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I finally confronted my parents about my depression and avoidant personality disorder. I showed them a well-kept journal of every time they've disregarded my feelings on something completely valid. I'd worked on this journal since I was ten years old. They denied it all and told me to "quit being a crybaby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 209

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 475

You deserved it 763

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 507

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I set an elaborate alarm system to wake up early. I woke up to the soothing sounds of birds chirping, only to discover that I had accidentally set my ringtone to bird noises instead of an actual alarm. I missed my morning meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 490

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 877

You deserved it 39 972

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 486

You deserved it 6 306