Miscellaneous: Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public,...

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 143

You deserved it 8 781

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By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 416

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 335

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 800

You deserved it 9 690

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 882

You deserved it 4 389

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 707

You deserved it 5 020

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 261

You deserved it 6 690

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 3 820

By Miramichi - 30/05/2011 12:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 598

You deserved it 8 943

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 42 015

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 942

You deserved it 591

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:45

Let him find out if you don't get your way, you yell "RAPE!" until you do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Dump his immature ass.

Comments

jaybirdie 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 3:54

Next pull out a ***** and shove it in his mouth

Optomisticpencil 7

Saturday 14 April 2012 1:48

Tell him to man the **** up or he'll be single.

Kathts7 12

Monday 21 May 2012 17:55

Yeah! You should definetely start screaming "RAPE"!!!

theunlovedemo 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 16:53

dump the arsehole!

softpaws 17

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:51

Penis game! :D

greatfirstdate 18

Wednesday 10 October 2012 4:42

Ever since he read this FML, my boyfriend has started doing the exact same thing. I'm not even kidding.

red61977 9

Thursday 6 June 2013 13:48

What an idiot! Just yell asshole next time. The leave him there.

Rianokami 22

Friday 17 January 2014 8:16

Dump him. Dump him now. You aren't dating a child.

doglover100 28

Saturday 15 February 2014 4:23

He needs to grow up.

Chaos72 15

Thursday 24 April 2014 6:52

Maybe you should both see other men

Keywords

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The Top

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 11 993

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I learned what a "pain in the ass" means. I sat down on my patio swing chair, only to discover it was swarming with baby wasps, who stung me all over the butt. Ouch! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 230

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 4 602

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 011

You deserved it 6 872

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 795

You deserved it 5 224

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 999

You deserved it 5 210

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 942

You deserved it 7 559