Love: Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me...

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 3 016

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 7 957

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 5 698

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 137

You deserved it 71 685

By Anonymous - 08/05/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 069

You deserved it 72 042

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 031

You deserved it 2 835

By Junior - 26/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 693

You deserved it 2 958

By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 04:53 - United States - Muncie

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 678

You deserved it 13 203

By Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 2 658

By biwhat - 08/03/2014 09:23 - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 870

You deserved it 14 023

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 3 974

moonmonkeyman 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:21

I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.

LolFMLnot 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:01

Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.

Comments

awalker2782 5

Saturday 31 March 2012 16:57

Your dad needs to write a book! Listen to his advice and move on

KILLERTOAST13 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 17:00

Parenting for teh win

token_blackguy 18

Saturday 31 March 2012 17:42

Sound advice.

borche 5

Saturday 31 March 2012 17:57

Wow. Lol

awepeach 3

Saturday 31 March 2012 18:47

Your dad sounds cool! Well, much better than my mom. She just gives advice when all I want is to be comforted. I guess you just wanted to be told you're still lovable too. Sometimes parents can't really see that, and they feel if they coddle you they will only be setting you up for further heartbreak when the world doesn't coddle you back. Anyway, whatever the reason he didn't address your pain, I'm sure he means well by trying to have a sense of humor about it. You should show him that you wrote an FML about it. I think he will do a doubletake and feel ashamed when he realizes it isn't that funny to you.