Love: Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me...

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 3 016

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Same thing different taste

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 7 957

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 5 698

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 137

You deserved it 71 685

By Anonymous - 08/05/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 069

You deserved it 72 042

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 031

You deserved it 2 835

By Junior - 26/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 693

You deserved it 2 958

By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 04:53 - United States - Muncie

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 678

You deserved it 13 203

By Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 2 658

By biwhat - 08/03/2014 09:23 - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 870

You deserved it 14 023

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 3 974

moonmonkeyman 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:21

I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.

LolFMLnot 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:01

Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.

Comments

ALpein 0

Sunday 1 April 2012 2:23

Your profile discription agitates me for some reason.

AzWolf 5

Sunday 1 April 2012 2:48

Father knows best!

jaredofmo 22

Sunday 1 April 2012 4:04

Your father is a legend.

hennessy89 34

Sunday 1 April 2012 7:12

Bright side? At least he's open to homosexuality.

zander4310 5

Sunday 1 April 2012 8:37

I didnt know Justin bieber went on fml?

linnie_wesker 20

Sunday 1 April 2012 8:38

lmao I wish I had your dad, he sounds awesome.

SoultheWolf 19

Monday 2 April 2012 9:56

You should've told him, "Why don't you heed your own advice?"

Scoutman 5

Tuesday 3 April 2012 2:29

Good advice

FMLoverAgain 7

Wednesday 4 April 2012 5:14

I love your dad!

bobbos100 2

Friday 20 April 2012 6:18

I like how your dad thinks.

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Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 236

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 477

The Top

Today, our water got cut off. Since our council tax is also due today, I called them and hurled abuse for cutting off the water so soon. Turns out they don’t actually supply water, nor was it even disconnected. Some random person just turned off the meter tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 146

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 879

You deserved it 7 405

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 799

You deserved it 1 272

Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 244

You deserved it 1 966

Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 312

You deserved it 1 831

Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 411

You deserved it 2 602

Same thing different taste

Empathy

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