Intimacy: Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever...

By hjgjh - 27/04/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 581

You deserved it 23 395

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 208

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 893

You deserved it 4 166

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 22 035

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 346

You deserved it 3 262

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 698

You deserved it 2 513

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 609

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 4 984

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 503

Jaws

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 07:00 - Philippines - Cebu City

Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 77

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 703

You deserved it 4 858

quantumoftruth 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:05

did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard

ZiggyMorrison 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:04

hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?

Comments

whocares111 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:28

yea but how old are you? it doesn't matter if you're young.

1Tsk 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:30

The ant was trying to kill the little fly so he could take it to his nest :p

xRUINERx 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:34

Yeah that happens to everyone...0.o

AdamB_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:43

How is this a FML?

requieminadream 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:45

Dude, maybe if you didn't live in a bug infested home you might get more than a bug sucking you off.

dearViena 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:54

you know, getting laid isn't the most important thing in life.

trackrunner525 0

Monday 27 April 2009 17:00

thanks for sharing

davidomke 0

Monday 27 April 2009 17:04

4, will you marry me?

pancakelover 0

Monday 27 April 2009 17:15

Did you at least get the ant's phone number?

judgeymcjudge 0

Monday 27 April 2009 17:18

#4 = WIN XD

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I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 342

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I agree, your life sucks 9 477

You deserved it 1 577

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You deserved it 164

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I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 480

Same thing different taste

Sneaky

Jaws

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